Our Little Secret
by SamEvans17
Summary: No, you know he can't know, why would you even ask that? He can't, he just can't, it'd be a disaster. We were supposed to be careful Avi...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So I just came to the realisation that I haven't been publishing this story on here, and I have no idea how I just forgot… but I'm 32 chapters in on Wattpad so I'll be updating it every day, if not twice a day, I hope you enjoy it :)**

 **Chapter 1**

"I'm pregnant."  
"No you're not."  
"Yes I am."  
"No. No there's just no way."  
"There's not _no_ way Avi." I fold my arms, watching him trying to process the situation. He clearly isn't doing so well.  
"Avi this is a huge deal okay, look at me. We need to talk about this."  
"He's gonna kill me, or you. Probably more likely you," he points at me, then runs his hands through his hair, knocking his grey beanie off.  
"Now you're being stupid." I roll my eyes, and snap my fingers in front of his face to get his attention. That's when he collapses, hitting the ground with a thud. I sigh, crouching next to him on the cold concrete balcony. My dress doesn't like this, it is quite tight and the heels are an awkward balancing act. But you know we are at my engagement party and all.  
I'm not marrying Avi.

After a few minutes of sitting with an unconscious man beside me you'd think someone would come looking for me at _my_ engagement party, especially since we'd been gone well over half an hour now. Well no, most of the people here tonight were Jeremy's friends, of course besides my mum, Jess, Gran and Granddad and the guys. I have a total of eight guests in this mass of eighty. Still no one had noticed Avi and I sneak off outside. I just grabbed his collar and dragged him off. Now don't you think that if the bride-to-be drags another guy off outside that surely someone would pick up on it?  
Clearly no one really cares since the main attraction is still in the room. Jeremy. He'd organised everything and it is exactly how he wants it. The venue is dressed excessively in gold and royal blue. The flowers are black. What kinds of flowers are even black? Everything is over the top and flashy. I hadn't even wanted a party, let alone _this_.  
I'm happy to be out of the room. It is stuffy and far too hot in there; the room is completely over crowded. It can't be safe, emergency wise. Outside is nice; the summer night breeze is cooling on my skin. I can smell the beach, I can't see it but I know it is just over the hill. We'd taken some pictures on that hill earlier, Jeremy and I with our parents, and various others. He'd reluctantly agreed to take one with the guys, but I knew he didn't even want them at the party. They are my small compromise though, if we had to have a party then they had to be there. I'd wanted to sing with them like we do all the time for fun. But Jeremy doesn't want that because he thinks it would make him look bad.  
I sigh and look down at Avi again.  
"Do you think I should have told someone? I thought you would have woken up by now." I hold my hand above his mouth, letting it hover there just long enough to tell that he is in fact still breathing.  
"I'm sorry to have told you like this… Do you think I'm doing the right thing Avi?" I pause, even though I know he can't answer me at this moment.  
"I love Jeremy, I really do, but I don't think he likes you, or Kev, or Scott or Mitch. He called Jess a brat the other day, it really upset her. You'd never call her a brat, even though you don't like her name," I smile slightly, my little sister has the same name as Avi's ex and I've always thought that was funny.  
I sigh again, looking around the small outdoor space once more taking in the little pot plant trees and the flower baskets hanging overhead, now those were pretty flowers in the bright colours that I like. I focus back on Avi. He looks so peaceful as he always does when he sleeps, this isn't the same circumstance but in some ways it's the same idea.  
I sit there brushing back his dark hair until his eyes finally flutter open. I can't help but smile when he looks up at me.  
"I had the weirdest dream Kirst," he mumbles, moving to sit up, he gets as far as leaning on his elbows before he clutches at the back of his head, wincing.  
"What happened in the dream?"  
"Oh it was the worst," he chuckles before continuing, "You were pregnant." He laughs but my smile falls.  
"Avi," I reach out for his hand, helping him to sit up fully. "You didn't dream that," I tell him seriously, clutching his hand, holding it tightly when he tries to pull away. I will not release him. "Please don't pass out again," I try to make light of the situation, but his expression doesn't change.  
"Does Jeremy know?"  
"No, you know he can't know, why would you even ask that? He can't, he just can't, it'd be a disaster. We were supposed to be careful Avi."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I shuffle around the apartment in my slippers and my tank top and shorts that I wore to bed last night. I'd woken at six and had been cleaning since. It is 11 am now and Jeremy is still asleep. I'd left the party before him last night and he'd come home so drunk it was ridiculous. The sound of his snores fill the apartment, even with the door to the bedroom closed. And now everything smells like coffee, and I love coffee but. I sprint down the hall to the bathroom.  
"Maybe too much coffee," I mumble to myself as I spin around the door frame, just making it to the toilet in time.  
"That's disgusting Kirstie, I mean I thought I drank too much," Jeremy laughs, practically pushing me out of the way so he could pee.

I stand at the stove cooking bacon with a clothes peg on my nose. It isn't that effective, maybe I should buy some sort of mask to cover my nose and mouth, like a surgeon's one. It might be going too far but it all just smells so sickening, I'm gagging just thinking of the smells. I don't even want bacon, Jeremy asked for it and wants me to make it while he is in the shower. At least he can't see this sad act of mine with the peg and gagging. My eyes are watering, but I can't go and throw up again he's in the bathroom, he'll think I'm in there for something else.  
I finish cooking and dump it on a plate for him and leave it on the table. Then I get the hell out of that room, chucking the peg in its bucket on my way to the back porch.  
I love standing out here, especially at this time of morning. The sun is just perfect and it isn't too warm yet. I sit on the outdoor wicker chair that I'd bought especially for out here. I sigh in contentment, tucking my feet up under me as I relax.  
I close my eyes and then smile as I hear the sound of padding feet and panting breath.  
"Where have you been all morning?" I ask, opening my eyes again, greeted with Olaf's front legs up of the arm of the chair. He was so big now, I reach out scratching his head as it bobs around and he tries to lick my arm. I giggle as he attempts to climb up and his back legs kick out, I help and try to pull him, he's just so heavy now!  
"What have you been eating my baby!" He is finally up on my lap, practically crushing me, but I don't care, his furry sweetness is all I need right now. Cuddling with Olaf always makes me happy. I squeeze him lightly, kiss his furry head and rest my cheek on him.  
"You know," I whisper, "You're gonna get a brother or sister, I don't know which yet. But I want a boy and I want to take lots of pictures of you and him. There's a problem though Olaf," I sigh, stroking him to keep myself calm. I keep my voice down as I continue. "His daddy won't be the same as yours and that's a really big problem isn't it? The next problem is I don't think your daddy will be too nice to baby, not like the baby's is nice to you. You know baby's dad and you like him but you never lick him," I smile a little. Olaf loves to slobber on everyone; he licks as his main source of greeting that is unless you're Avi, or anyone else with a beard.  
My smile fades, "And I don't like that Olaf. I don't like that at all. What are we gonna do sweetie?" I kiss the top of his head again. "Your daddy can't have children."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Olaf can't stay still for too long. So when he jumps off my lap during our conversation I decide he needs to go for a walk. I pull on my sandals, get Olaf's leash and my keys and phone then head out the door with my furry best friend.  
I keep the leash long enough to give him some space, but close enough that he's almost pulling on it to get further. I check my phone a couple of times, mostly for time, but I do notice a couple of texts that I decide to ignore, Scott, Mitch… Jeremy. I probably shouldn't ignore the last one but I do. Only because I find myself outside the last building I expected. I would have 100 percent texted Jeremy back if I hadn't have been outside Avi's apartment building.  
I wondered if Kevin was home. I walked into the building. I hoped he wasn't.  
"Hi Kirstie," the lady at the desk waves.  
I smile and wave back. Usually animals weren't allowed in this building, but they'd made a special exception for Olaf.  
Avi and Kevin only live on the third floor of the building so I always walk up the stairs, better for you and I'm less likely to be seen. I walk them and Olaf jumps them: as dogs generally do and we make it up in no time  
 _Apartment Three-D_. Avi thought the number of his apartment was just the best thing ever, not because 3D as in movies, no because of three D as in three dragons: as in Game of Thrones, mostly or just dragons in general. Typical Avi. I shake my head with a smile as I knock on the door. To be honest it doesn't even matter if Kevin is here, I'll chat to him too, not about what I need to talk to Avi about but other things.  
Avi opens the door and Olaf rushes at him. I smile up at Avi, he doesn't smile back… but he always smiles back. He crouches down to greet Olaf, petting him and hugging him close, and as usual Olaf swings away when he realises this is the guy who's face he can't lick.  
"At least he didn't bowl you over," I chuckle slightly, watching Avi and my fur baby.  
"Yeah lucky," Avi says with a big release of breath as he stands up. "I guess you want to come in?"  
I nod and follow him in the small place, pulling Olaf along behind me.  
Kevin and Avi's place always smelt so distinctly of them, or of their cologne if I'm being precise. And Avi's scent was stronger today.  
"So what's up?" he turns to face me, shoving his hands in his pockets.  
"Is Kevin home?"  
"Kirst, isn't this problem enough?"  
"I'm taking that as a no he's not?" I raise an eyebrow, bending down to let Olaf off his leash.  
"He's not gonna pee anywhere is he?"  
"No he went not long before we came in."  
"Or poop?" Avi asks, pulling a face as he looks from Olaf to me.  
"Hopefully not. But he'll let me know," I shrug, deciding to make myself comfortable and sit down on the sofa. I pat the seat next to me for Avi, but he sits on the coffee table in front of me instead.  
"I need to know what to do Avi."  
"Well I don't know what you should do. Only you can know that."  
I take a deep breath and speak quickly, pulling at my hands, "I want the baby." I swear I see him smile just a little as I look back up at him.  
"Really? So what's your plan with Jeremy then?"  
It had only been a slight glimmer, he probably hadn't at all because this was typical Avi, straight down to business. This is why it was always good to talk to him. "I have no idea. Please help me."  
"What do you want me to say Kirstie? You want me to say tell him the truth and be with me, or do you want me to say lie to him and say it was some sort of miracle?" he raises his voice, getting a little too loud making me flinch a bit and lean further from him.  
He sighs, "Sorry. Do you want anything to drink, or eat?"  
"No I'm fine," I slouch back completely in the seat and Olaf jumps up next to me getting all cuddly and laying his head on my lap. I instinctively start stroking his soft white fur when I feel tears stinging at my eyes.  
Avi slowly gets up from the table, turns, sits down next to me and wraps an arm around my shoulders. "I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to yell."  
I'm about to answer that I know when the closeness of his scent overwhelms me and I jump up, making both guys beside me mimic. I take off towards the bathroom. I know Olaf tries to follow and that Avi stops him.  
I release what little was in my stomach into the toilet, cringing, gagging, coughing, I hate it. Unfortunately there's another two months of this at least. I sit back on my legs taking a deep breath once I finally stop. Footsteps come up beside me and then Avi's there. He gives me a small smile and sits down leaning against the wall that the toilet is against, so he's looking at me.  
"I guess this is my fault," he tries to make light of the situation.  
"Yeah I guess it is," I go along with him.  
"Well just so you know, I would have much rather we both avoided this. I mean I know you're the one going through all this… but like the situation isn't so great either," he pulls his knees up to rest his arms on.  
"It's karma," I shrug, tucking my hair behind my ears.  
He nods and looks down at his hands. "I'm sorry."  
"You don't have to keep apologising."  
"It's my fault, you said so yourself. We should have been more careful, we shouldn't have even been doing this at all. And yet here we are, sitting here with you with a peanut-sized-squiggle-baby."  
I bite my lip before bursting into laughter.  
"Okay, I admit, that was pretty funny as well as probably the worst explanation ever," he laughs.  
"No I like it. I'm gonna call him Squiggle, at least just for now," I smile at Avi.  
"Him? What makes you think it's a him?"  
"I want a him, so until I'm told differently Squiggle's a him."  
"Okay then, just saying… if I'm allowed to say this… I want it to be a Squigglette," he pauses when I raise an eyebrow at him. "A girl." He adds to make sure I knew what he was trying to say.  
"I got it," I nod. "But he's a he."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Avi and I walked down the street on our way to get some lunch. He was holding Olaf's leash after I'd tripped not minutes ago and scraped my knee when he had taken off running. I'd accidentally released the leash on my fall and Avi chased him, and if I wasn't fighting back the tears I would have laughed. As soon as he was back with Olaf he offered me his free hand to help me up, I was grateful and really used his strength to my advantage to lever myself up.  
The palms of my hands stung like crazy and I kept looking at them as we walked, there was only a light scraping but they hurt more than my knee right now.  
"Are you okay?"  
I nod, resisting the urge to brush at my hands to make some of the stinging tingliness go away; because I knew it wouldn't it would just end up hurting more.  
"You sure? Cause we don't have to walk all the way to the place, we could just stop at something around here?" he points with the hand holding Olaf's leash, his other hand on my lower back to guide me on the street we were now crossing. It was little things like that, that Avi did and Jeremy didn't that really got to me.  
"Yeah I'm sure," I nod again, getting a little faster with them as a car comes speeding down. We had plenty of time and were being over careful but Avi and I had always just been like that. The other guys probably laughed just a bit too much about it actually.  
We walk in silence for the rest of the time, but it's not uncomfortable. I'm too busy thinking about my hands and the surges of pain that occasionally came across my knee now.  
"There it is," I point ahead with a smile, I know Avi knows though and I'm more pointing for myself and he smiles and nods out of courtesy. "Barbeque," I add slowly turning to him. His smile gets only bigger, and so does mine. I was stating the obvious but Avi loves barbeque and I don't mind it much myself. Whenever I went out to eat with Jeremy we always went to really fancy places with the small portions. And don't get me wrong, French food can be pretty amazing, their desserts are just the best but the whole aesthetic of the place just wasn't me. Jeremy liked those kinds of places, so we went to those kinds of places.  
"I'll just go in and order, pick it up, and then we can take it to the park or something since they won't let Olaf inside," he points to the sticker on the window next to the door. _No animals._ That was pretty normal so it didn't bother me. I didn't have to nod in response or anything it was a given and Avi went inside, he knew the sorts of food I liked so it wasn't a big deal at all: I'd happily stay with my baby.  
I crouched down next to Olaf, deciding just to sit cross-legged on the concrete I tell him to sit too and I cuddle into him. I didn't really care it if was dusty or dirty or anything my denim shorts were pretty old anyway and my loose floral top was just short enough that it didn't touch the ground even when I slouched a bit.  
Keeping one arm wrapped around Olaf I lean on my other hand that rests on my knee, my good knee. My hands were feeling a bit better now and I was just trying not to think about the knee too much. I check the time on my watch and before long Avi is back out with a plastic bag full of food.  
I'm about to get up when Avi kneels down in front of me. He passes me the bag of food on his way down and ends up cross-legged in front of me.  
"My jeans don't give so great in the knee, but this'll only take a second," he smiles at me and sits up slightly off his legs to reach into his back pocket and pull out a band-aid. "I asked inside," he explains as he opens the small paper packaging. He pulls the tape off to reveal the sticky part and I smile a little at him concentrating so fully that he went a little cross eyed staring at the patch on my knee. After angling it right he finally places on my knee then leans in to lightly kiss it and I can't help but giggle at him.  
"All the better to help it heal faster," he chuckles, standing up and offering both hands to help me up after I slide the plastic bag back onto his arm. "And we're off my fair Kirstin," he smiles, offering to take Olaf's leash again.  
"That we are my shining knight Avriel."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

I fall asleep at Avi's. And that is possibly the most stupid thing I could have done.  
I wake up cuddled into his side, in his bed, in his apartment, naked. "Oh no," I snap upright and retrieve my phone from the bedside table and there's 30 missed calls and just way to many text messages. I turn back to look at Avi, sleeping peacefully, snoring of course and I knew at this point that he wasn't waking easy. That man doesn't wake for anything, not even if a smoke alarm was blaring. He had always made sleep-wars just too easy for everyone else. If I shook him that wouldn't work, if I hit him that wouldn't either and I could yell and yell but it would be pointless and Kevin would probably hear me, it was five in the morning after all and Kevin would 100 per cent be home. So I covered his mouth and blocked his nose.  
Within seconds his eyes shoot open and I release him.  
"What the?" he asks in his low rumbly sexy morning voice that I needed to just ignore right now because this was urgent.  
"I fell asleep Avi," I shake him as his eyes close for just a milli-second too long.  
"I'm here," he mumbles, and yawns, looking up at me.  
"And so am I!" I whisper yell, whacking him lightly in the chest several times.  
He sits up so quickly I'm surprised that he doesn't get whiplash, "Oh shit." All covers of swear words were off in a situation like this who cares if Kevin was in the next room this dire emergency deserved a few harsher words if you asked me. "We need to get you back," he jumps out of the bed and I do the same.  
How had taking Olaf for a walk ended up like this, I was in so much trouble. Avi and I never slipped up like this, this was so so bad.

Avi drives me back to my apartment. The entire drive is silent. He stares straight ahead at the road and I out the window. I glance over at him a few times to see the same hard look on his face, it scared me a little and I kept playing with my hands. He only ever had that look when I was going back to Jeremy.  
Olaf had gone back to sleep on the back seat of Avi's car. He'd woken up quick enough when Avi and I started rushing around. Avi had made a comment about how lucky it was that Olaf hadn't peed inside, I think he intended for me to laugh, but it was definitely not the time or place. All I thought was lucky was that Kevin hadn't woken up or heard us at all.  
We pulled into the carpark of the apartment complex I lived in with Jeremy. Avi stopped and pulled the handbrake on, I opened the door and I hesitated glancing over at Avi once more. The look had softened a little and he was staring at the wheel, but he didn't say anything so I got out and shut the door behind me.

With Olaf in tow and Avi probably long gone by now, I take the elevator up to our fifth (and highest) floor apartment. It was the biggest apartment in the building and took up the entire floor. It was great for Olaf, he had plenty of space and this place was 100 per cent dog friendly.  
I reach the door and take a deep breath as I unlock it.  
Jeremy is there on the couch… luckily asleep. I'm just hoping Olaf stays quiet as I lead him past Jeremy and down the long hall to the bedroom.  
I let Olaf off his leash and he immediately jumps up onto the bed, making himself comfortable. I pull my sandals off and I don't bother getting changed. I just flop onto the bed next to my warm furry baby and cuddle up to him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

I wake up when I'm roughly shaken around my shoulders and my neck clicks.  
"Where were you? God you had me so worried Kirstie. Where the hell were you?"  
I look up at Jeremy, just unable to find my words at this moment. I knew the story it was just my shoulders kind of hurt, why was he being so rough?  
"I asked you a question Kirstie, where were you? I called you so many times," his voice just gets louder and it gets harder for me to answer. I do manage to get something out.  
"I was at Kevin and Avi's." It's best not to lie about everything. "I went there when I was walking Olaf because I needed the bathroom. I chatted with them for a bit and a bit must have been longer than I thought. Next thing I know I wake up on their couch then I came home.  
His eyes narrow, "Kevin and Avi's… who was there?"  
"Kevin and Avi, it's their apartment." I wasn't lying, Kevin was there for a while, we'd heard him come home.  
"Right," he nods slowly and lets go of my shoulders, backing up a bit. "Why didn't you call me back?"  
"I think my phone was on silent," I shrug and resist the urge to rub at my shoulders, they really hurt, possibly worse than my hands and knee yesterday.  
"Well then make sure your phone isn't on silent because you should always answer when I call." The look in his eyes right then was one I'd never seen before. It was different from the annoyed/angry if looks could kill one. I'd say this was… if looks could massacre and a whole lot of other scary things and I was really scared. What would he do if he found out about Squiggle? I don't want to know because I never want to see that look again.

I cried a little after he left. Avi would never have given me a look like that, never.  
I needed to talk to someone. Someone that wasn't Avi because he already knew everything and Olaf can't answer back so he wasn't the most helpful. Scott or Mitch?  
I decide on Scott, I don't know why, maybe because deep down inside I know that answer I want to hear and that Scott is more likely to give it to me.

Scott looks me over as I walk up to him in the café. "Kirst it's like a bazillion degrees today why are you wearing sleeves?"  
I smile slightly at his singlet, before shaking my head, "I like this top."  
"It's black, long sleeved and the arms are leather. It's a sweatshirt Kirstie, I don't care how much you like it, take it off now."  
I lean closer to him, "I can't."  
He leans in too, raising an eyebrow and resting his chin on his hands, "And why not?"  
I look around quickly before answering, "I've only got a bra on under it."  
"Well that was stupid then wasn't it?"  
"Yeah it was."  
He nods, leaning back in the seat. "So what did you want to talk to me about?"  
"Straight to the point huh? What no lunch first?"  
He shakes his head, "Nope I'm intrigued. We can eat later."  
"Okay then. I'm just gonna come right out and say it."  
"You do that." I don't think he realised how serious this was going to be.  
"I'm pregnant."  
His eyes practically bug out of his head and maybe it was a good thing that we didn't have food, he would have choked on it. "Well shit. This is some dilemma you've got yourself in." He strokes at his chin, looking around the café before back at me and leaning closer again. "Who's is it?"  
I sigh, playing with my hands, "I can't tell you."  
"I think you kind of have to. You can't drop a baby bomb and not expect me to ask who the dad is since it can't possibly be Jeremy."  
"You'll be mad."  
"Why would I be mad? I'm just thrilled you haven't let on that it was some miracle and it was Jeremy's. You're so damn guilty though so."  
Scott didn't like Jeremy, and he made no secret in keeping that from me. In fact he'd been the one to tell me that none of the guys liked him, not Kevin, not Mitch, not Avi, I knew about Avi, but that wasn't the point. He just outright told me as if it would change things. And now he was just enjoying this too much, he wasn't doing so great at hiding that smile. I still wasn't sure I could tell him who the dad was though.  
"Kirst?"  
I look up at him, I must have been in my own head for longer than I'd thought. "Yeah?"  
"You okay?"  
"Yeah."  
"Then tell me who the dad is."  
"I can't."  
"Do you want me to guess? Cause we're gonna be here all day if you do."  
"Avi," I mumble, leaning in my hand and avoiding eye contact with him.  
"Sorry… what?"  
"Don't make me say it again."  
"No Kirst I really didn't hear you, don't mumble."  
I keep my eyes down, chin on fist and whisper just loud enough for him to hear, "Avi."  
If his eyes had bugged out before then well they were the size of saucers when I finally dared to look at him. He takes a moment to find his words and when he does only one comes out, "Kaplan?"  
"How many Avi's do we know Scott!" I hiss, struggling to control my volume a little and burying my head in my hands.  
The next thing shocks me, Scott breaks into laughter and I have to look up at him with an eyebrow raised. He doesn't stop for a good minute and by then I'm starting to get frustrated. "What's so funny Scott?" I ask through clenched teeth.  
"Freaking finally!" he yells slamming his hands down on the table, making me jump and a few others turn. "He has had a crush on you since forever! When did this happen?" he says this all just way too excitedly. But he was right he wasn't mad, not one single bit.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"He has had a crush on you since forever! When did this happen?" he raises his eyebrow, looking at me expectantly, he was just way too happy.  
"A while ago."  
"How much of a while?"  
"A while a while."  
"Kirstie," he gives me a look and I sigh.  
"Three, four… five… months."  
"But you're not _that_ pregnant or you'd be… oh my god it's more than once!" he covers his mouth to hide his big grin. "More than twice?"  
I bite my lip nodding and looking down again, trying my best not to smile myself.  
"Kirstin Taylor Maldonado. Are you having an affair?"  
I watch him for a moment before snickering into laughter, "Don't you have to be married to have an affair?"  
"You're engaged, so close enough, but not that you do anyways. You just have to be in a relationship and not faithful to that person you're in a relationship with, oh and in love with the third party… well that's my understanding."  
"Well then no I'm not because I don't love Avi," I stop because I know I've said in the past that I love Avi, but never to him directly and I've never meant it like _that_. So I'm right… right? I don't love Avi, I love Jeremy. "I love Jeremy."  
Scott gives me another look, "Sweetie if you loved Jeremy you wouldn't be sleeping with Avi."  
"That doesn't mean I love Avi," I say far too quickly.  
"No… It doesn't," Scott answers calmly. "It doesn't," he says again quietly, and I know he thinks I didn't hear him so I act like I don't.  
"So now you know and because you're Scott and super annoying you know more than I originally wanted to tell you. And now I need you to tell me what to do."  
He almost slams back into the back of the booth seat, "Whoa now Kirstie I can't do that. I can suggest options but I can't tell you what to do."  
"Yes you can, I need help and Avi wouldn't tell me either. I just need someone to tell me what to do Scott because I don't know anymore."  
"So Avi knows?"  
"Yes of course."  
"How'd he take it?"  
"Not as great as I'd hoped."  
"What do you mean?"  
"He kind of… no he did, he passed out when I told him."  
Scott snorts as he tries to hold back his laughter, "Avi Kaplan passed out?"  
I nod, this wasn't funny… okay maybe it was just a little and I would have laughed with him if I wasn't stressing about this so much. "Scott."  
"Okay, right," he clears his throat as he composes himself again. "So options." He pauses to think. "Well there's always the easiest, dump Jeremy and run off into the sunset with Avi. I'm personally on board for that one, not that I'm telling you that that is what you should do because it's up to you. But another option if you want to be a little more honest is tell Jeremy about the baby and Avi, with me in attendance and break up with him then run off into the sunset with Avi. That one's not so bad, I wouldn't mind seeing Jeremy react to that one. Then there's disappear… with Avi… off into the sunset," he grins a big cheesy grin at me.  
It was clear what Scott wanted me to do and that's why I picked him, Mitch would have offered up the Jeremy alternative: only because he was a lot politer than Scott, not because he liked Jeremy.  
"What about calling things off with Avi, tell Jeremy the truth and seeing where it goes? Hopefully he forgives me and treats the baby right."  
Scott's smile drops and I can't believe I'd said that either.  
"You can't do that, that's not one of the options I support because you deserve better than Jeremy Kirstie. And how would that be fair to Avi to see some other guy raising his kid. Avi is the much better option in this situation and any other, you name it: Avi's better. I'd want Avi on my team for anything, and another thing if I had a kid I'd make you and Avi the god-parents and die just to get you two together on something."  
"Now you're making this weird," I complain, tapping my hands on the table lightly and repetitively.  
"No you made it weird, suggesting something so stupid Kirstie. Here's the thing, you want me to tell you what to do? Pick Avi, you know damn well he will be better to that kid than Jeremy will, not just because it's his kid but because he is a better person. Jeremy treats you like dirt and he's publicly dating you, Avi treats you like his queen and he gets you second hand because you can't get your head out of the money thing and realise that you belong with a guy that you actually deserve."  
"It's not about money and he doesn't treat me like dirt Scott," I feel tears welling in my eyes.  
"Yes it is and yes he does. Jeremy has money and you can't tell me that you're not even thinking about it a little, because if you are that doesn't make you a bad person. And it is most certainly not going to make you a bad mom if you can't get your baby absolutely everything it wants, as long as he or she has a mom and dad that love them. And the dirt thing, Kirst you only had eight people at that party, and I bet you didn't even know most of the others."  
"I didn't even want a party," I sob lightly. I wanted to address everything else he'd said but I just couldn't, he was too right. Scott had that knack and he had most definitely been the right person to go to.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"How about we do something fun? Me, you and the guys, we haven't done that in ages," Scott offers up with a smile.  
I nod slowly, we hadn't and it had been far too long. At one point the five of us were practically inseparable, and I swear those were some of the best memories I have: with them. "Yeah," I add, breaking into a smile. "We could go to the beach? I haven't been to the beach in so long."  
"Alright, let's go to the beach, I'll text the guys. And we can go get you something to change into cause that isn't beach attire."  
I roll my eyes, so what if I had platform sandals on, not to mention I loved my skirt it was red and blue and green and another blue and all that in a plaid form actually worked in this form fitting skirt. Plus I really didn't want anything sleeveless, that's why I had this top on: where Jeremy grabbed my arms this morning were kinda bruised and I didn't want anyone to see that. Why did I suggest the beach?  
"So I've texted them…"  
"Maybe this isn't a good idea," I start.  
"No, it's a great one Kirst, it's perfect, it's fun and cost free."  
"Oh yay, cost free," I shake my head and fold my arms.  
"So I think we still have some of your clothes at ours, you know from when once upon a time you'd stay over."  
"We need to do that again," I smile up at him.  
"And we'll be able to once you're free of Jeremy, everything's gonna be like the way it was… except you and Avi will be parents, and that's kinda like waaaay off. But oh well," he shrugs.

Since we drove to the café separately we had to drive back to Scott's separately. My phone kept buzzing in its spot on the passenger seat, I knew exactly who was calling me and I didn't want to answer right now. I just want to hang out with my friends for once, just once when I'm not grilled when I get home.  
I pull up on the curb while Scott drives into his apartment building carpark. My phone is still buzzing so I decide, against my better judgement to answer.  
"Hello?"  
 _"What the hell Kirstie! I called you so many times."  
_ "I was driving."  
 _"That's no excuse!"_  
"Yes it is. It's the law, I couldn't answer."  
 _"I don't care, I've been trying to get a hold of you. You need to come home."_  
"I'm busy."  
 _"Well I want you, so you gotta come home."_  
"I'm with Scott and Mitch right now okay, Mitch is having a crisis and he needs me more than you want me okay. I gotta go," I lied.  
 _"No don't!.."_  
I hang up then opening my glove box I shove my phone into it, snapping the compartment shut again. I get out of my car to see Scott leant up against his own waiting for me.  
He raises an eyebrow, dropping his arms as I approach him, "Was that Jeremy?"  
"Yep," I answer in such a tone that he knows not to ask any more questions and just follows me to his and Mitch's apartment.  
I love their apartment. It's small, but cosy and it's decorated perfectly for them. The place literally screams Scott and Mitch, it's perfect. The place also doesn't have a strong scent like Kevin and Avi's so I don't have that strong urge to run to the bathroom at all.  
Right as I'm about to sit down Mitch comes tearing around the corner and pretty much jumps on me, squeezing me so tight that I might just explode.  
"It feels like I haven't seen you in forever Kirst."  
"You saw me two days ago, at the party?" I chuckle.  
"Yeah but that's not our Kirstie, this here, this now… you here and now you are our Kirstie." He pulls me in for another bone crushing hug and I can't help but smile.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

I drove Scott and Mitch to the beach in my little jeep and we were meeting Avi and Kevin there.  
The three of us were totally prepared with our swimmers on under our clothes and were practically drenched in sunblock _and_ we had an umbrella. I'd gotten changed into some old black shorts and a pale grey, pink and blue plaid shirt, I had even put on a necklace that I'd gotten a couple of Christmases ago. I was also lucky to have a pair of sandals that I'd left at their place too, it was all perfect.  
Then we walked over the yellow grass hill to where we could see the water, and well this was probably the most deserted stretch of beach in California. To add to it, if you looked down the beach a fair bit you could see the clear line of where people stopped and I couldn't understand why. The rock pools were so close here and the water was nice and clam, then there were the giant rocks, I mean who didn't love climbing on them when they were a kid.  
"Is there something wrong with this part?" Mitch asks, turning to look at Scott and I with his big beige sunglasses on.  
"What like full of jellyfish?" Scott frowns.  
"Maybe this is Bikini Bottom and it's just a given that we're supposed to leave it alone?" I joke and my friends burst into laughter.  
"I wish," Mitch giggles.  
"I think we should just hang here anyways, I bet as soon as we settle the place will fill up in no time. I mean if we weren't supposed to be here there would be signs or tape or something," Scott shrugs and walks down onto the sand, dropping all his stuff then flicks his towel out and sets it down. Mitch and I do the same on either side of him.  
In no time at all we were all set up, with the blue and yellow umbrella up, well shading us.  
"I just realised something," Scott starts, turning to me then slowly looking at Mitch, "Why are you wearing jeans?"  
I lean around Scott to see that yes Mitch was in fact wearing jeans, "Hey!" I laugh.  
"I have chicken legs," Mitch shrugs, "And besides they're all ripped up so they're practically summer pants."  
"They're pants though and black."  
"Well your shorts are black, there's no difference." Mitch turns away and lies down on his towel, and that was the end of that conversation. But I didn't understand him, it was so hot down here, the heat was coming through my blue and pink polka dot towel. I start unbuttoning my shirt then think twice and glance over at Scott and Mitch suddenly self-conscious. Those two had seen me in a bikini so many times before… why was it only now a problem… Oh right, the bruises.  
"Hey guys, I'm gonna go for a quick walk, check for Avi and Kev," I stand up, not giving them a chance to respond and button my shirt up again as I walk. I was grateful for my sandals, even if the sand was getting stuck under my feet a little: at least I wasn't getting the full lot of scorching sand with every step.  
I walk up to the rock pools just around the big rocks and low and behold there they are, Avi and Kevin balancing on the little formations. I quickly run up to greet them, crouching down in-between them to see what they were looking at.  
"Okay, now that is the prettiest one I've ever seen," I grin, leaning in just a little closer. And Kevin jumps a mile when I start talking and puts a hand up to his heart, staring at me.  
"Gracious Kirst, you scared me so bad," he chuckles. Avi does too then just smiles as he looks at me, we look at each other for a bit before I turn back to the rock pool. There were so many colours, and creatures, well mostly star fish but they were different colours too. I stared at it just grinning, probably getting too close. I adjust my hands a little, my palms were playing tricks on me again, stinging like yesterday.  
My left hand slipped and my fingertips barely touched water before I was stood up entirely and my ring fell off, it just slipped right off. And I watched it; I just hung in Avi's arms and watched it float to the bottom. Only Kevin freaked out, dunking his hand in then immediately retracted it when a swarm of tiny jellyfish appeared.  
He stood up too, facing Avi and I, "Kirstie your ring!" he stresses. I just look at him and I swear I hear Avi snicker just a little. The way I'm still hanging there in Avi's arms, facing Kevin and not Avi must make Kevin think I'm distraught or something because despite the jellyfish he leans back down and without hesitation his hand just goes in and comes out with that ring. That great big ugly ring. I hate that ring, Jeremy gave me that ring, that ring means I'm supposed to marry him and I don't want to! It's a horrible ring and if Jeremy knew me at all he would have gotten something that was actually my style, not just the most expensive one he could find.  
So when Kevin hands it back to me, I finally stand up on my own and throw it as far as I can down the beach. His eyes turn into saucers and I hear Avi's sharp intake of breath behind me.  
"Why? What… I don't…" Kevin stammers, grabbing at the top of his head, leaning his hands there he just stops and stares around.  
I turn with a massive grin to Avi, wrapping my arms around him tightly. When he doesn't hug me back I look up at him with a frown… does he not understand what I mean by this? Does he not get that I've picked him?  
"What?" I ask quietly. Avi was turned looking out at where I'd thrown the ring, mouth agape.  
He points, "What if he wanted that back?" he delatches my arms from himself and takes off down the beach. How had I not thought of that? Avi ever the good guy though, am I right?  
I take off after him and so does Kevin.  
Now the search begins…


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

The three of us comb over the hot sand, not in any order at all, just looking. May it be looking very carefully, boy were we searching. Why couldn't we find it? It was big enough to be seen from the moon and it's not like Avi had taken his eyes off the spot I had thrown it. But we couldn't find it.  
We were soon all on our hands and knees, completely ignoring the burning against our skin, I don't think it got to Kevin though like it did me and Avi.  
I looked up at Avi when he sprung up, hoping he'd found it, but he just brushed of his knees and hands, wincing. I guess my tolerance was even higher than his, that or I was just panicking way too much to care about singeing my flesh.  
"It's hot isn't it," Avi sighs, pulling at the collar of his shirt, which just so happened to be a blue, grey and black plaid shirt, he had black shorts on too. So in a way we matched and I couldn't help but smile at that. Something in me knew Avi wasn't that bothered about finding the ring, he was just kicking at the sand now. He'd acted all concerned a few minutes ago when I threw it, but that may have been just it, an act.  
"It's a freaking Jupiter ring! Why can't we find it?" Avi stresses pointing all around.  
"Jupiter… as opposed to what?" Kevin frowns, sitting back on his feet.  
Avi looks at him blankly, "Pluto, I don't know," he shrugs and starts kicking at the sand again.  
Kevin doesn't let up, "But a ring the size of Pluto would have been big enough."  
"It's a metaphor Kevin."  
"I'm surprised you know what a metaphor is."  
"Well am I right? Is it a metaphor?" he looks between Kevin and I. I nod and Kevin answers.  
"Pretty much, you have the basics there, a metaphor is saying something is something else. So you were saying her ring is Jupiter, or well the size of it. So I'd say you're on the right track."  
The three of us just sort or stare at each other for a moment before we all just laugh, I'd missed Kevin's little over-explanations like that, especially after a mini-Avi-blonde-moment: it proves he was in fact that when he was little like the pictures show.  
"Seriously though guys, what if we accidentally buried the ring in our search?" Kevin asks as he stops laughing and looks over the ground around us again. "I mean Avi's just been kicking sand for most of the time so it doesn't seem likely we're going to find it. I'm really sorry Kirstie."  
I look up at Kevin, he didn't know the whole story, so I couldn't be mad at him. But it was really hard not to be. I shrug and am about to answer when Mitch comes running towards us.  
"We wondered where you got to!" he calls through his hands as he pauses for a couple of seconds then continues running, "We… OW!" he stops and grabs his foot, falling into the sand. The three of us run over to him.  
"Are you alright?" I ask falling to my knees next to him.  
"Yeah, just something sharp, I should have kept my shoes on," he chuckles a little as he feels around in the sand and picks up the offender. "Oh I stood on a ring!"  
"Oh praise the lord," Kevin looks up with his hands clasped together.  
I try not to glare at the ring like Avi is. I whack his arm to remind him that they don't know about any of this, actually Avi doesn't even know the whole story right at this moment… only Scott does and he's all the way back with the stuff.  
Mitch looks between us and studying the ring, "Hold on," he goes wide eyed, "Kirst… is this yours?"  
Kevin, Avi and I all nod.  
"We were looking for it," Kevin tells him. "After Kirstie…"  
I step over and shove him, "Shut up, no one needs to know I did that. Just give me," I turn back to Mitch and hold my hand out for the ring. When he gives it to me I put it back on like I had just lost it, not thrown it down the beach.  
"Oh right, well it hurt," Mitch chuckles, moving to stand up, wincing as he put his foot down again. "Well the sand is hot and this hurts."  
Kevin and Avi move to his sides to help him and I trail along behind on our way back to Scott.

I sat in the sand across from Avi, we had a large mountain between us that Avi was working on. His tongue was sticking out a little and I am smiling as I watch him.  
"Winterfell?" I raise an eyebrow.  
He looks up at me with the biggest grin, "How'd you know?"  
"Because you're Avi!" I laugh, starting to scoop up some sand on my side of the pile. "And since I know what it looks like I'm gonna help."  
He nods and we start trying to make the base squarer, it was really difficult. Right when we'd get close it'd crumble. Eventually Avi got up on his knees and flopped down into the pile, practically landing in my lap. With a smile he flips himself over and kicks at the sand to get himself closer to me. After the struggle, he lays his head down in my lap and looks up at me again.  
"Did you know just how beautiful you look from this angle?"  
I snort with laughter and lightly whack his shoulder, "So beautiful, you can probably see up my nose."  
"Well now that you mention it. I was just talking about the line of your face," he reaches up to trace his finger across my jaw and down my neck.  
My eyes widen a little as I cautiously look around for the other three, I should have known better, Avi wouldn't have done anything like this in front of them. Mitch was still asleep in the sand and Scott and Kevin had disappeared off to the rock pools about a minute or so ago, everyone was set so I smile down at Avi again and start playing with his hair. It was getting to the length where he'd occasionally tie it up, but not today.  
"You'd make a pretty bearded lady," I joke, stroking at his beard as he smiled back at me.  
"I'm not so sure about that one Kirst."  
"No, me neither. I was just trying to find something to say."  
"You know you can talk to me about anything so I don't know why you can't find anything."  
"That's exactly why, because I _can_ talk to you about everything. It makes it that much harder because you know all I have to say… oh and Scott knows about us."  
He sits up so quickly, almost head-butting me in the chin, "What?"  
"I had to tell someone."  
"But Scott can't keep secrets. He'll tell Mitch and then I'll have to tell Kevin because I'll feel bad that he doesn't know."  
"Then is it so bad? I mean they're our best friends."  
"Kevin has an incredibly guilty conscious Kirst. He'd end up telling Jeremy."  
"We don't want to go on like this though Avi."  
"What do you mean?" he frowns, "We do have to go on like this."  
I shake my head, "No, we…" I stop, he hadn't realised that I picked him, I didn't think I'd need to tell him. He was smart enough to figure this out wasn't he?  
"It's just best if no one knows. I really wish you hadn't told Scott."  
"Well I did. He's my best friend."  
"So is Mitch, and it should have been him, we know he can keep things to himself."  
"He may be able to keep a secret but he wouldn't have told me to pick you like Scott did," I stand up in a huff, I couldn't believe Avi. Why wouldn't he want people to know about us? I would happily shout it off a rooftop or something cliché like that.  
Avi stands up too, "What are you talking about."  
"It doesn't matter because clearly you want us to stay a secret. So guess what? We will keep it a secret, so secret that it never happened and it ends here." I point down at the ground holding back tears. "I am engaged to Jeremy, I love Jeremy and you just need to butt out now and leave me alone."  
He watches me for a moment then nods slowly, looking down at the ground, "If that's what you want." He sniffs, pulling at his nose before shoving his hands in his pockets. He looks up at me for only a moment with tears in his eyes before walking off down the beach.  
As a last thought I yank the necklace off from around my neck and throw it at him, the dragon pendant hits him square in the back. But I don't know what he did about it because I ran off up the beach and back to my car.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

I'm snapped from my thoughts when Jeremy claps his hands repetitively in front of my face until I look up at him. I manage to pull a smile onto my face for the sake of his excitement.  
"Yeah, sorry, what was that?"  
"You should probably pay more attention Kirstie," he rolls his eyes but then his excitement is back. "I got us a reservation at the restaurant we like." _He likes_. "You know the one with good small portions that you like." _That he wishes I liked._  
"That's great honey. I'll go get ready then," I nod standing up.  
"Be quick, if you make me late then we'll lose the table."

The place we're going is beyond fancy, so I make sure to dress nice. I pick out a blush pink plume top and a navy and cream skirt, my chunky heels matched my top and all the jewellery I was wearing tied everything up nicely. I was even wearing the Eifel tower necklace that Jeremy had gotten me that he always complained that I never wore. I never wore it because I knew how much it cost; it was so much that I promised myself I'd never think of a number that high again if I could avoid it. I played with it while we waited in line to get in.  
"We have a reservation. Why is this taking so long," Jeremy all but stamps his foot as he checks his Rolex for the hundredth time.  
"I don't mind waiting," I tell him, gently resting my hand on his arm.  
He snaps around to face me, "Well I do," he hisses. I must have gone quite red in the face as he turned away because the older lady waiting behind me asked if I was alright. I really didn't know because I wasn't sure if I'd ever been more embarrassed.

By the time we finally get in the night is already ruined. Jeremy is in the foulest mood and I have to tread lightly, so lightly its practically pointless walking at all.  
We're seated and about to be handed our menus when Jeremy just orders, quickly waving the waitress away.  
"The serving in this place is so poor, we won't be coming back."  
"The lady has only just left Jeremy, and besides they can't be to blame if people stay a little later at their tables."  
"I can and will hold them responsible, if people go overtime kick them out, it's not hard. This is supposed to be an upmarket place Kirstin I'm not sure you quite understand."  
I stare at him wide eyed for a moment as he looks around the busy restaurant, had he really just said that? Implied that I didn't have any class or sophistication or whatever he thinks this place is worthiness, if so then why did he bring me here? Why does he bring me to places like this at all? Because Jeremy does what Jeremy wants, and I still love him and I'll just get past this. I take a deep breath and pull on another "genuine" smile.

When we get home Jeremy is thumping around he slams the doors, throws his keys at the wall: those kinds of things.  
I need to talk to him. And I finally get him to calmly sit down on the couch. I take his hands in mine, he already has a look of complete boredom on his face. This is important though, I have to make him believe it.  
Taking a deep breath as I had at the restaurant I smile at Jeremy, "I'm pregnant."  
"What?"  
"I'm…"  
"No I heard you. I want you to explain, who the hell have you been fu…"  
I cut him off shaking my head quickly, "No, no I would never do that, I'm just as surprised as you are. It's a miracle sweetie," I squeeze his hands.  
He slowly shakes his head and stands up, grabbing my arms and roughly pulling me with him. He keeps the tight grip on my arms as he pulls me closer and whispers slowly, emphasising each word  
"You do not lie to me."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

That night I silently packed a bag, took Olaf and left. I couldn't stay there, not after what Jeremy did, and not after how he lied to me.  
I was still in my outfit from last night. Part of the strap on my left shoe was broken and my hair was dishevelled with loose bits everywhere after I'd spent that decent amount of time on it earlier getting it to stay up. And really looking in the mirror in my car, my make-up was a total tragic mess. Not to mention there was blood on my skirt.  
And despite all this going through my head I don't actually care, I just have to get somewhere safe and now. I would go to Scott and Mitch's but I'm scared they can't protect me, bless them they'd try but it wouldn't be the same.  
In no time at all I pull up outside the familiar apartment building. I make my way through the lobby, pulling the sleepy Olaf with me on his leash. There was a man on the desk instead of the nice lady I usually saw in the mornings. I think he would have stopped me if I hadn't have been such a mess. I just kept walking with a slight hobble and he watched me with a frown. I didn't offer him a smile or anything despite the fact I was bringing Olaf into a no pets building.  
I got into the elevator that arrived quickly and stepped onto the third floor, walking down the hall to the fourth apartment.  
I hesitate and stand there quietly, just listening. I'm sure I can hear a TV through the door, but why would one of them still be awake so late? It was just about two in the morning.  
As I stand there Olaf shuffles around my feet, his tail swiping along the door. I lift my hand to finally knock when it opens. I take a step back, and stumble off the side of my foot: the back of my heel slips out the broken part of my high shoe and I fall, not gracefully but the best I can manage away from Olaf.  
Then I burst into tears and Avi sits down next to me, wrapping his arms around me as he does. He pulls me closer, kissing the top of my head and I just cry into his shirt with no intention of going anywhere any time soon.  
Olaf snuggles in next to us and I have to smile through the tears when Avi puts one arm around him too.  
"I didn't want him to feel left out," Avi whispers and I feel his smile as his lips press against the side of my forehead.  
Avi didn't even know what the problem was, he just saw me and took me in his arms, even after this afternoon, after I picked Jeremy and told Avi to leave me alone. I show up on his doorstep and he just acts like nothing happened, like I was going to show up anyway, and I really liked that about him. I was even smiling a little, and I shouldn't be right now, but I was, I am.  
"But I want your arms all to myself," I mumble into his chest. "Send Olaf into Kevin's room, they can cuddle and you can just hold me. I just want you to hold me," I clutch at his shirt, bunching a bit in my hand, physically telling him that I wasn't letting go.  
"Whatever you want," he nods and stands, pulling me with him. He takes Olaf's leash from my hand and leads us both inside, kicking the door shut behind us. He sits me down on the sofa then takes Olaf over to Kevin's door, opens it and lets him off the leash and shuts that door behind him after we just see a flick of white jump up on the bed.  
"Thank you," I tell him quietly when he sits down next to me. "Which episode are you watching?" I ask, tucking my legs up and snuggling into his side.  
He watches me for a moment before turning back to the TV, I think he gets that I don't want to talk just yet. He picks up the remote as he speaks.  
"This is the first season again, the second episode, almost finished," he explains as he presses play and the familiar show starts up, typical Avi, Game of Thrones.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"You just get in behind me, like they do in movies and stuff. There will be plenty of room," I slide forward in the bathtub, indicating behind me as the water swishes around. I swear he's trying to avoid looking at me, and I don't know why? He's seen it all before.  
"Just get in Avi, please, it'll make me smile," I pull a pout onto my face, staring at him.  
With a sigh he takes his plaid shirt off, drops his jeans and hops in behind me. With a smile I relax back into him, then turn to look up at him and give him a big cheesy smile like I said I would.  
He wraps his arms around me and leans his chin against my shoulder. It tickles a little.  
"What's it like having a beard?"  
"I don't know, what's it like not having a beard?"  
I roll my eyes and turn my head to him again, "You would know, you haven't always had one, so you tell me the difference."  
He shrugs, "Well I don't know how to explain it… it's just having a beard. What's the difference in kissing someone with or without a beard?"  
I pause and think about my answer for a moment, "Better, kissing someone with a beard is better because it's you, and only because it's you."  
"Well okay then," he chuckles, so low and rumbling that I feel it on his chest and can't help but join in myself for a moment.  
"Avi, can I vacuum your apartment tomorrow?"  
"What?"  
"Can I vacuu…"  
"I heard you, I should have asked why?"  
"Cause it needs to be vacuumed, and cleaned, but that carpet is a mess. So you can clean everything else tomorrow and I'll vacuum. I like vacuuming," I smile a little, sliding my hands across the top of the water making ripples.  
"Who actually likes vacuuming?"  
"Me," I tilt my head back to look up at him.  
He smiles down at me, "Well you're just special then aren't you?"

Telling Avi about what happened was going to be hard, but it had to be done. I had to tell someone, and that someone that made the most sense was Avi.  
I look over at him as he wipes off a bit of the mirror to look into, he had a towel wrapped around his waist and I couldn't help but admire him. Mostly to the fact that he had one of the hairiest chests that I had ever seen, but then not a single hair on his back and for that I was thankfully glad. He has a couple of freckles though and they are really cute.  
I fastened my own towel up under my arms when there is a knock on the bathroom door.  
"Avi what are you doing? It's four in the morning and why is Olaf in my room?"  
"Olaf's in your room because Kirstie's here." He doesn't lie, but I don't want him to tell Kevin everything, not yet.  
"Where is Kirstie exactly and still why is Olaf in _my_ room?"  
"I'm in here," I tell him, watching the door, hoping he won't open it. "And we let Olaf into your room because he was scratching on your door." Only a partial lie.  
"Why are you both in there?"  
Avi turns to me wide eyed and steps in front of the door, blocking it. Did I mention it doesn't have a lock?  
"Kirstie was just upset and ran in here so I was seeing if she was okay," he shrugs, clearly not sure if that was a good answer and I shake my head a little. He mouths, 'get dressed.' And I mouth it back, because well he needed to as well!  
"Are you feeling a bit better then Kirst?" Kevin asks through the door.  
"Yeah," I nod, smiling a little as I pulled my skirt from earlier on up under the towel, Kevin was so sweet.  
"Well since you're okay, can I ask why you brought Olaf with you?"  
"You can ask, but I may not give you an answer," I tell him as I drop my towel and pick up my top and pulled that on too.  
"Alright then, I'm just gonna wait then… cause I need the bathroom."  
Avi and I exchange worried looks, what were we going to do now?  
Avi points over at the basket, clearly a new addition because I'd never seen it before. We chuck our towels in and close the lid then leave the bathroom fully dressed. Well I wasn't fully dressed, in the rush my underwear had ended up in the basket too. Let's just hope that Kevin wasn't emptying that basket tomorrow.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

I must be the unluckiest girl on the planet.  
They do laundry Tuesdays and Thursdays, they take turns. Avi does Tuesdays, and today is not Tuesday but it is laundry day… yay this is just all so perfect.  
I slept in Avi's bed and Avi didn't. He said that because Kevin knew I was here that he would have to sleep out on the couch, which is fine for him because he can sleep anywhere anytime. I didn't like that, but I followed it reluctantly.  
Being Thursday meant that Kevin went downstairs with the washing basket full of clothes to the buildings laundry room. And when he came back up, I'd never seen him so embarrassed, he couldn't look at me. He hid in his room, probably thinking I'd be going away soon, well I've got news for him.  
I felt lucky that Kev didn't grill me for answers, he must have known something. But as long as he didn't bring it up then neither would I.  
"I've got to go get the washing," Avi tells me later on that day after he comes out of the bathroom. "You can come with me."  
"I can't go out there, I'm a mess, I slept in this and I am 100 per cent uncomfortable because I have no underwear on," I say getting quieter and quicker.  
"I know you haven't, that's why we have to go down at all. Kevin text me to tell me to go down and get it because he is scared of coming out of his room," he points at Kevin's door, trying not to laugh. "You Kirstin have traumatised him."  
"I wouldn't go that far."  
"No you have. You know he's big on communication, not texting, he's right there and he texted me," he continues to hold his laughter in, holding up his phone.  
"You still don't need me to go with you."  
"Yes I do… Kevin needs the bathroom."  
I laugh and he joins me. "Fine, fine, let's go."  
"Wait, didn't you bring a bag with you?" he asks with a frown.  
"Yeah."  
"What's in it if not spare clothes and underwear?"  
"Olaf's stuff and… shoes."  
"So you brought shoes, but not clothes?"  
"Yes," I watch him for a moment when he doesn't answer back. He shrugs, walks to the front door and opens it, holding it for me. "No questions?" I raise an eyebrow as I walk past him.  
"Not yet."

We were lucky we were the only ones in the laundry room because Avi opened five of the eight machines before he found the one with our stuff in it.  
"He doesn't use the same one as I do, clearly," he chuckles a little as we slowly take everything out.  
"Avi… It's alright if I stay with you guys isn't it?"  
He looks up at me from the poor folding job he was doing on a shirt. "Of course. You didn't even have to ask." He goes back to folding and I can't watch him do that anymore so I take it from him. He'd pretty much just rolled it, I really don't want to see the state of his draws.  
"That's why you guys are the best," I smile at him, effortlessly folding the shirt and handing it back to him.  
"Thanks," he nods and places the shirt neatly in the basket. "Can I ask you something Kirst?"  
I pause, thinking _it depends_ but answering "Yeah."  
"Why is there blood on your skirt?"  
I knew he had other questions, but that was the one he chose to start with. I'd almost forgotten about the stain actually, but there it was clear as day on the cream part of my skirt, typical.  
"Well… to tell you that would be to tell you the whole story."  
"Then tell me the whole story."  
I take a deep breath, I knew this was going to happen sooner or later. "After the beach, and what I said to you about picking… Jeremy. I went home and I told him about Squiggle, not that he's yours. He knew it wasn't his though and he got… he got really mad and um, violent." I stop to look up at Avi who is practically fuming.  
"I'll kill him."  
"No you won't. It's all sorted now, I'm here with you and us and Squiggle we're going to be happy."  
"How did he hurt you Kirstie?" Avi wasn't going to let this go.  
"Barely."  
"You obviously bled Kirst, how did he hurt you?"  
"He slapped me then shoved me, I hit the ground. I don't know why I bleed, I don't have any cuts."  
"When you hit the ground, what hit the ground first?"  
"I don't know. I'd sort of turned when he hit me first, then I guess my hands?"  
"Or your stomach Kirst?" he wasn't the same kind of angry now, he was more… sad?  
I click and my hands shoot to my stomach, to my Squiggle. It couldn't be right?


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

I sit in the passenger seat of Avi's car with tears rolling down my cheeks. Avi sits with his head leant against the steering wheel when I look over at him. We're in the carpark at the hospital.  
Squiggle's gone.  
And I don't know what to do about that. Maybe I should just forget he was ever there, he was a he too. That just made it worse because it wasn't already bad enough.  
I know Avi's not as upset about this as I am, I just do. When we were in there and I was getting the ultrasound and the doctor told us, I'm sure he smiled. I don't want to believe it though.

When we get back to the apartment I'm glad Kevin isn't there. I didn't want to have to explain everything to him, at least not yet.  
I sit down on the sofa and Avi sits next to me with a sigh. I want to hug him, but I don't. Because he smiled.  
"Why'd you smile?" I ask after a large gap of silence.  
"What?"  
"Why did you smile?"  
"At what Kirst?"  
"At the hospital. When we got the news."  
"What? No... No way Kirst, I didn't smile. Why the hell would I?"  
"Don't yell at me Avi!"  
"I'm not! Kirst, I didn't smile."  
"Yes you did," I slam my hands down against the sofa.  
"Kirstie, why would I smile at that?"  
"Because you never wanted him in the first place," I tell him quickly.  
Avi looks at me for a while before shaking his head, "If you think that then clearly you don't know me as well as you thought you did." He stands up and walks over to the kitchen. I slouch back into the seat tears threating at the corners of my eyes again.  
"I'm going to go to Scott and Mitch's," I tell him without looking up.  
He sighs, "You're in no way to drive right now Kirst."  
"Don't tell me what I am!" I stand up shouting at him.  
"Kirstie, please just calm…."  
"No, no don't, stop it! Avi just stop okay. I left him for you and now you're just treating me like this, like a child!"  
"I'm not… Kirstie you came to me because he hurt you. Why are you mad at me? Jeremey is the reason our baby is gone. So rant and rave all you want about him and how much you hate him, but don't you dare yell at me, blame me, take it all out on me. I have been nothing but nice to you, giving you everything you wanted, I was there for you when Jeremy upset you all those times. I cared about you so much more and you never seemed to notice that."  
"Avi…"  
"No, let me talk for once," he holds up his hands before he continues. "I didn't really date, the guys were always asking me why I don't find a girlfriend. Kevin told me to quit pining over you because I'd never get you because you loved Jeremy, what he doesn't know is that I did have you, but you weren't mine. Remember Alice? I asked her out, and it was like two dates when you met her by accident and then gave her such horrible stink eye that she didn't want to see me again? That's why I didn't date, because you wanted to be with me but you just wouldn't admit it. I didn't care because I was so sure that you would just one day come to your senses and be with me. When you said you were marrying Jeremy, that broke my heart Kirstie," he stops, sounding a little choked up.  
I keep my eyes on him, trying to hold back tears with no words in my mouth and waiting to see if he continued.  
He starts off slowly, "I stayed when you told me you were pregnant, and I would have 100 per cent. But now that he's gone where does that leave us? Because if you're just going to yell at me and blame me then that leaves us nowhere Kirstie because it's not my fault," he stops, pointing at himself with tears in his own eyes. "I love you Kirstie, so please don't make it my fault."  
I stand up and jump the best I can over the armchair between us, tipping it and myself over. I scramble to my feet and slam myself against Avi, hugging him as tightly as I can.  
He wraps his arms around me too, squeezing me tightly back.  
"We're gonna be okay Kirstie," he tells me with a slight hitch in his voice.  
I nod into his chest, trying to take deep breaths and inhaling his scent, and having given up on holding back my tears there were wet trails down my face getting absorbed into Avi's shirt.  
"I love you too Avi."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Avi and I are sitting on the sofa, I'm cuddled into his side and completely cried out by now. He still has his arms wrapped around me, and mine are around him. I'm not going anywhere and neither is he. Until.  
Avi shifts slightly in his seat after about an hour of us just sitting there, I'd thought he'd gone to sleep, although even if he had he could have just woken up I mean it was almost two in the morning.  
When Kevin had come home he'd just walked past us, he didn't say anything, did a bit of a double take but stayed silent. I'd kept my eyes locked with his until he left, we'd probably be asked about it later.  
Avi turns down to look at me and it is definitely clear that he's been asleep, I could just see it on him. I offer him a small smile then lean up to peck him on the cheek. "Hey," I say quietly.  
"Hey… you hungry?"  
My smile gets bigger, him asking me if I was hungry was pretty much just code for him saying he was hungry. "Are you?" I raise an eyebrow, asking even though I know the answer.  
He nods, breaking into a smile himself.  
"Then let's make something," I say without moving, because I still didn't want to get up.  
"Nah I'm too lazy for that right now, let's just go down the road," he stands up, effortlessly pulling me with him.  
"Avi. What's even open at two am?"  
"McDonalds, it's right on the corner," he points over his shoulder.  
"Oh I haven't had McDonalds in so long!" I cheer latching onto his arm. "Oh," I stop pulling a frown onto my face.  
"What?"  
"I still don't have anything else to wear," I look down at myself, I had changed out of that top and skirt from earlier, and was now lounging in one of Avi's t-shirts.  
"You can put on one of my coats?" he suggests with a shrug.  
"No it's way too hot."  
"You know if you put on heels, people at this time of night would think it was the look you were going for?"  
"No I'm not going for the walk of shame look."  
"No, no, I meant the short dresses, cause I've seen girls basically wearing just t-shirts, like long ones but not even as long as the one you're wearing."  
"That's true, but I'm not going out in this," I shake my head, sighing.  
Avi looks around the room, sighing too, he had some good ideas but I wasn't really feeling them at the moment.  
"Kirstie."  
"Yeah?" I turn back to look at him.  
"We're really stupid," he smirks at me.  
I raise an eyebrow, "Why?"  
"Cause several months ago you left a bag here…"  
I gasp, cutting him off and covering my mouth. Then I drop my hands to reveal a big grin, "With half my clothes that Jeremy didn't like me wearing!"  
"The other half went to Scott and Mitch's, and we've still got it. Up in the towel closet," he nods, grinning excitedly and walking towards the said closet.  
He opens the door, and I squeal jumping up and down behind him, I'd missed these clothes, and yet I had honestly forgotten them. It was a lot of my patterned tights, and low cut tops, a couple of mini-skirts, basically just a whole lot of things that Jeremy thought were inappropriate. He told me to throw them away, but I really didn't want to part with any of them, having the intention of slowly re-introducing everything. That just never happened though, and it's actually pretty lucky now I have an almost full wardrobe here at Avi's, minus the underwear.  
Avi passes me the duffel bag down from the top shelf where I would have never been able to reach it.  
I drop with it to my knees excitedly and open the bag, pulling out items of clothing, my smile only bigger with each thing that I pull out. To one side I put my skull print leggings and black tank top with two large gold crosses on it, everything else I put back in the bag.  
While I go into the bathroom to change and wash-up, Avi takes my bag into his room. I walk into his room, towelling my hair and see him putting my things away, like he'd cleared out a draw for me and was hanging a dress of mine up in the wardrobe.  
"You didn't have to do that," I tell him with a small smile.  
He just shrugs and shuts the wardrobe door. "So you ready to go?"  
I nod, "Yeah, just gonna pick some shoes." I look over at the bag I'd brought with me, that had been full of shoes and Olaf's things. It's was empty and Olaf's things were in the corner of the room neatly stacked up, that wouldn't last long.  
"I put them in here," he tells me, opening up the wardrobe again. And sure enough there they are, all the pairs I'd bought with me lined up alongside his. My many and his few, it'd make you think I was the one who'd lived here longer.  
I step up next to him as he shyly smiles at me, I stretch up to peck him on the cheek before leaning into the closet to pick out my pair of combat boots.  
As I move he darts across the room and opens his bedside draw, I hear it open and shut and assume he's got something out of it, maybe his wallet? Turning around he is back behind me holding out a dragon pendant necklace, my dragon pendant necklace that I had thrown at him back on the beach.  
My hands shoot up to my mouth as tears sting at my eyes and everything bad that had happened just came rushing back, but I loved that necklace.  
I fall into Avi's arms and he pulls me into a tight embrace.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Hand in hand Avi and I walk down the street, at what must be almost three in the morning now. Olaf was asleep so we'd left him behind with Kevin, it would have been nice to take him for a walk today but it just hadn't happened.  
We quickly reach McDonalds; never underestimate how quickly Avi and I can move for food.  
The place had a few more people than you would have expected at this hour, a sweet thing was that no one was eating alone, well at least at the eight tables I could, only three of them being occupied, so maybe there weren't that many people here.  
I keep a tight grip on Avi's hand as we order, and wait and then make our way over to a table with the tray, I wouldn't even let go when he probably should have had his second hand to balance the tray. He didn't drop the food, only almost dropped it so that was okay. I finally had to release his hand when he told he was right handed and preferably needed it to eat with, but I still sat right next to him, even pulling my chair a little closer, that earnt a slight laugh from Avi.  
"You're keeping awful close aren't you?" he smiles.  
I nod with a big cheesy grin, "I'm never letting you escape."  
He laughs, "Oh I see," he nods then starts on his food.  
"No arguments about that?" I raise an eyebrow.  
"None," he says with his mouth full," I just smile and start on my own meal, just a simple cheese burger because it had been far too long.  
We finish eating in what must be a record four minutes, mostly because we didn't talk and just scarfed our food down, and it was amazing.  
As we gather our rubbish up and leave the leave the table, I spot something down the small flight of stairs to another lot of tables. Avi places the rubbish in the bin then turns to me. I keep staring across the second level of tables at the colourful door.  
"What?" Avi asks, looking where I'm looking, he was worried, I could tell. But I didn't answer and ran down the steps all the way to that door. I'm pretty sure Avi follows me, but I'm only focused on the door, the brightly coloured, clearly labelled door.  
"It opens!" I squeal and walk inside, almost letting it slam on Avi, luckily he stops it.  
"Of course, they wouldn't tease the children by locking the door would they?" he laughs.  
"Whatever, let's just go in already," I smile, clapping quickly.  
"Kirst, it's made for kids, will we even fit?"  
"We're not huge, and besides, they have to make it big enough so that if an adult needed to go in they could, I mean what if a child was absolutely freaking out in there?"  
"You know you're little "pep" talk is actually making me want to go in less," he chuckles.  
"Just come on," I grab his hand again and pull him closer to one of the entries. "You first," I point at the purple and red tunnel, "I want to make sure you're in," I smirk evilly at him.  
Avi bends down and puts his head inside the tunnel, then he lifts one knee up to lean on it before his head pops back out, "What if we get in trouble?"  
"We won't, so don't worry about it," I wave him off then tap his arm and point inside the tunnel. As his head goes back in, I realise something and pull him out once more.  
"What now?"  
"You're supposed to take your shoes off," I smile up at him. He just shakes his head with a smile.  
"No way, from what I remember as a kid there was always a spot in there that had something wet or sticky, I'm keeping my shoes on," he leans in once more and finally crawls completely in. I follow after him. It was definitely a lot smaller than I remember, and darker, but that could just be because the light isn't shining through from outside like when I was little and here in the day time.  
"Come on, go faster, "I lightly tap his leg that I can reach, then lean forward and hit him on the butt, "Move it or lose it!" I laugh, and hear his echoing laughter in the tunnel too.  
"It's a tight fit Kirst," he tells me, "At least for me."  
Finally we come to a small dome that has several exits from it. Avi sits up on a slight ledge to give me enough room to be in there at the same time.  
"I don't remember this being so claustrophobic," he says as he looks around the small bubble.  
I nod slowly then look up at a ladder from the bubble, "How about a race to the top?"  
"Only if I get to use the ladder you're eyeing up, because you can fit in the tunnels better," he smirks.  
"Race you to the ladder then."  
"It's right there," he points with a frown, then realisation crosses his face as we both leap for it. He hits his head on the top of the dome and I connect with his elbow.  
Who ever said this was a good idea?


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

I wake up with a throbbing headache, which is bad until I open my eyes and remember where I am, tucked safely in Avi's strong arms. As badly as my head hurt, it didn't really matter. But why did my head hurt? Oh right because I connected with Avi's elbow, I wonder how his head was then since he hit his on the top of the playhouse. That had been fun in there, even if we hadn't stayed long.  
I manoeuvre my head to look up at Avi peacefully sleeping, he had a small smile playing at the corners of his lips and it made me wonder what he was dreaming about. With a sigh I start tracing circles on his chest, I didn't want to get up, but I would admit I was getting a little bored.  
With a huff I began contemplating ways that might possibly wake Avi up, seeing as it wasn't the best idea to cut off his breathing to see his eyes open. There must be other ways to wake up the man who could most probably hibernate if you just left him alone with his bed and some barbeque.  
Lying there the first thought that came to mind was pulling on his chest hair, because hair on your head can hurt like a bitch if someone does it with intent, so this would be worse right? I sit up slightly, leaning on my elbow, my other hand still lain out on his chest, playing with the said hair. I decide not to do it though because I don't want him to get mad at me, he is Avi and I know he'd never get mad like Jeremy would… but still.  
I lie back down with a sigh, and pulling his arm back around me that had slipped away in my small movement. That had been a useless four minutes… what can I think about now?  
The problem with not having anything to think about is when you start to think about everything you don't want to think about. Like Squiggle. Tears immediately spring to my eyes and I curl further into Avi's figure, wishing he was awake so he could hold me tighter. The tears start to roll down my cheeks and onto Avi, I can't stop them now and I can't stop my thoughts.  
There must have been something I could have done? What if I hadn't have told Jeremy? What if I had just stayed with Avi. I had gotten mad at him at the beach for nothing, I realised that I was mad because _I_ hadn't told him that I wanted to be with him, I had just expected him to know. What if I had just told Avi? That would have been so simple, but I'd thought it would be romantic for him to figure it out on his own, but he hadn't and it made me mad! I wanted our friends to know. We should tell Kevin today, he's probably figured it out by now.  
Why did I have to get so mad at Avi, I threw that necklace I loved so much at the man I love, I'm just glad he brought it back for me. I clutch at the dragon pendant around my neck, squeezing it tightly in my hand as the tears just continue to fall. How had Avi known that I'd want it again? What would I have done if he had just left it on the beach? Who am I kidding Avi would have never left anything Dragon related on the beach. I chuckle slightly to myself, but it's short lived.  
It's a dragon, but he must have been upset, he'd been so happy giving it to me, we'd only been friends, but he'd told me that it was a reminder that they did exist, why? Well because I was the only one in the group that fuelled his obsession, I never joked about how they didn't exist because I loved how much he believed in them, and I love hearing him talk about them, he's so passionate and that's something I really love about him.  
But what if I'd never slept with him that first time? Not the first time I cheated, but the first time Avi and I slept together, before Jeremy was even in the picture. We'd been drunk, but when we woke up in the morning, without even saying anything, we both knew it wasn't a mistake. But that was that and then I met Jeremy. Jeremy who almost ruined everything. And honestly that night I went to Avi and Kevin, came here, when Jeremy upset was probably the best decision I ever made. I don't care who tells me that cheating is bad, it was the right decision, I know that now, I was guilty then but I know how I feel now and I don't regret my decision. And it was my decision, I had to talk Avi into it, like he'd said he wanted to have sex with me, but it wouldn't be right because I was dating Jeremy, I wonder if he'd think that now?  
I'm the most worried about what Kevin will think, he'll feel bad for Jeremy, everyone always does. But they only feel sorry because they know he can't have children because the cancer he'd had, and I'm sorry but it still doesn't make me feel bad because I know now in my heart that I did the right thing to now be with the right person.  
Avi and I are going to be together for a long time, I just know it, we're gonna get married one day and have lots of Squiggles, and I'd happily have Sqigglettes too if that made Avi happy, because that's what I want. I want Avi to be happy, I want our future children to be happy and most importantly I want to be happy.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

I sit up straight in the bed, snapped from my thoughts when there is a loud banging knock at the front door that echoes through our room. Avi stirs just slightly but doesn't wake up.  
Olaf jumps up onto the bed, my poor baby probably got a fright. I pulled him closer snuggling him into sitting across me, his tail constantly thumping against the sleeping man.  
As the knocking persists, I finally hear Kevin shuffle towards the door, calling out that he was coming. I would have gotten up, but seeing as I was currently naked it would have taken me longer and I'd have to get dressed, it was just easier to wait for Kevin to get it because whoever it was wasn't going away.  
I hear the door click open and wait to find out who it is and wanting to know why they were banging on our door like that. I lean further into Olaf, resting my chin lightly on the top of his head as I listened.  
Kevin's voice is heard, "I don't think you should be here. Hey! I did not invite you in!" ever polite he is. But suddenly my heart is beating faster as footsteps echo on the wooden ground, I tighten one arm around Olaf and out stretch the other. Avi had to be woken now, what if there was trouble?  
I blocked his nose and mouth, his eyes flick open and he gasps as I release him then start tapping him on the chest to get him to fully wake up. I barely spare him a glance as I keep my eyes trained on the wall that all the noise is coming from the other side of.  
He quickly sits up when he hears Kevin yell at someone to get out. And in that second there's a thump and Avi is out of the bed and yanking his crumpled up pyjama bottoms on. "Stay here," he tells me so seriously that my heart leaps to my throat and tears spring to my eyes.  
I only hug Olaf tighter as Avi turns away. But Olaf pulls away from me and bounds off the bed to stand at Avi's side when he opens the door to enter the hallway. If I wasn't so scared right now, that would have to be the sweetest thing I'd ever seen, my baby protecting my man.  
As they enter the hallway, Olaf right on Avi's heels, I leap from the bed myself, off Avi's side. I scramble for his t-shirt and pull it on, the step into the doorway, I could help.  
But I stop dead when I hear the voice.  
"That's my dog you son of a bitch!"  
"He's Kirstie's, and you have to leave," Avi's low voice booms out.  
"See I knew the cheating slut was here with you, it was fucking you the whole time!"  
"GET OUT!" Avi yells again, and that's about when Olaf starts barking his head off.  
"YOU TURNED MY OWN FUCKING DOG AGAINST ME!"  
"I DON'T SEE HOW YOURE SURPRISED, HE DOESN'T LIKE ASSHOLES!"  
In a burst of strength I didn't know I had, I rushes out around the corner and into the lounge, stopping all yelling and barking in its tracks. Olaf lets Avi's post and stood protectively by me, I could tell he was conflicted because he almost went back to Avi when Jeremy took a step in a direction that was closer to both of us.  
When Olaf starts barking again, I'm almost surprised, Jeremy had never actually done anything to him, but right now my dog was hell bent on keeping his former owner well away from me and Avi.  
Kevin was sat on the ground, slightly dazed and watching the proceedings.  
Jeremy took another step closer and Olaf charged, making Jeremy take that step back again, but that clearly wasn't enough. So scared, Jeremy stuck his foot out, striking Olaf and making him reel back towards Avi.  
With blinding fury seizing me I stormed forward, breaking into a run with my arms swinging and so many screamed curses flying from my mouth, I lunge for him, that man who hurt my baby… and my son. But arms wrap around my waste pulling me back, millimetres from hitting that assholes face.  
I whack the arms, I hit them and I scream, I direct a few of the foul words coming from my mouth at Avi, because he won't let go! Without letting me touch the ground he practically drops me down on my knees next to my whimpering baby. I lay down with him and ball my eyes out with my arms wrapped around him and my tears soaking into his fur as I only hear what goes on behind me.  
Avi and Kevin's simultaneous yelling over Jeremy's screeched apologies, followed by a slammed door. Then only my sobbing. Olaf was going to be okay, I was sure of it, but as much as I hated Jeremy, and as a horrible person as he is, I would have never thought in a million years that he'd ever hurt Olaf.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

We had to take Kevin to the hospital, just to make sure he didn't have a concussion or anything since he was pretty sure he'd hit his head.  
I was not going to leave Olaf home by himself. Avi told me that he wouldn't be allowed in the hospital, so I said I'd sit in the car, locked in with him just to be safe.  
So Avi drove with Kevin in the front and I sat with my fur baby in the back.  
When we got there, Avi and Kevin got out and went in, of course. But they were back out quicker than I'd expected, must have been a slow day.  
"How'd it go?" I ask.  
"They see you pretty quickly when you've hit your head," Kevin tells me.  
"He's fine," Avi answers the question Kevin left open.  
I lean against the seat Kevin is sitting in and hug him from behind, he pats my hand as I talk, "I'm sorry Kev."  
"You don't need to be sorry Kirst, I mean I'm going to want an explanation, but you don't have to apologise to me."  
"We'll talk when we get home," Avi says as he starts up the car and pulls out.

As soon as the four of us are back through the front door of the apartment Kevin turns on us with his arms folded and an eyebrow raised.  
"You might want to sit down, it's a long story," Avi tells him.  
I nod in agreement, "And it might hurt your Christian heart Kev, it's riddled with morality issues," I sigh carefully sitting down on the sofa and smoothing my floral patterned dress out along my knees. Avi sits down right beside me taking my hand as we turn slightly to face Kevin who sat on my other side turned partially towards us too.  
"We're together," Avi starts.  
"I can see that," Kevin nods at our intertwined hands and closeness.  
I nod as I start to nervously play with Avi's ring on the hand that had been holding mine. "I don't actually know where to start," I tell Kevin without looking up.  
"How about with how long has this been going on?"  
"We've been together not even a week," Avi tells him.  
"I know there's more, so just start from the beginning."  
I open my mouth to start talking and the whole story starts spewing out.

 _A few months ago Jeremy and I had been arguing a lot, mostly about our future and where it was headed. Of course he can't have children, and that's something I want very dearly. I talked to him about the prospect of adopting one day, but he didn't want a bar of it, he'd gotten very mad very quickly telling me that that was what Olaf was for, because we weren't going to have children.  
I'd always wondered if that hit a sore spot because of the fact he physically couldn't have children anymore because of the cancer. But I was upset and so I went over to Avi and Kevin's, Kevin wasn't home so it was all by pure coincidence, but it was always going to be Avi and it wasn't just some random hook up.  
I know now that it was meant to be Avi, and in those few months I knew more and more, but I was just too scared of Jeremy to leave him. He'd never laid a hand on me but he was so threatening and his anger would flare up so bad sometimes that it was enough to keep me scared and with him.  
Avi was that escape, he was the one I could go to, no questions asked to just be loved. And then there was Squiggle, I don't know how because we were always safe, but he happened._

I start breaking down into tears and Avi wraps his arms around me while Kevin reaches out to take my hand.  
"You're pregnant?" Kevin asks.  
Avi slowly shakes his head, "She was Kev, we lost him."  
Kevin looks down, "I'm so sorry for that," he sighs. "Can I ask how it happened?"  
I squeeze my eyes shut, tipping my head back against Avi, trying to hold in the screams that just wanted to escape.  
"Jeremy pushed her to the ground, and the way she landed triggered the miscarriage," he says calmly, with only the slightest hitch in his voice.  
"And then he had the nerve to come over here?" Kevin asks, the anger notable in his voice.  
"He didn't know he was gone, he just wanted Olaf," I sob out. "But I need Olaf, he can't have him."  
"We're not going to let him take Olaf from us Kirstie," Avi tells me reassuringly, stroking up and down my arm in an attempt to calm me.  
"We can do one better, we can go down to the police station right now and you can make a statement against him Kirstie. You can get a restraining order, and I'm sure there would be something you could do about Olaf too," Kevin tells us seriously.  
"That's a good idea Kirst."  
I nod slowly at Avi words and reach up to wipe away some of my tears, unable to stop sobbing, I hiccup my words out, "Let's go then."


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

My eyes slowly open as I hear hushed voices from the kitchen.  
I'd fallen asleep on the couch with Olaf tucked under my arm and someone had pulled a blanket over us. I stare down at my fur baby as I try to concentrate on what Avi and Kevin are saying, it's difficult but I start catching a few words, nothing to make sense of though.  
I snuggle Olaf closer and pull the blanket up a little higher as Avi and Kevin get a little louder. They never argued…  
"I don't care what he did!"  
"Are you not her friend Kevin?! How could you say that?!"  
"It has nothing to do with her, I want to know how _you_ , how you could do that to another human!"  
"He's barely human."  
"There was only strife because of a disagreement about the future. He had been sick Avi, they needed to have a proper conversation!"  
They were arguing about me. I didn't like that.  
"She tried Kevin, she tried and tried but he wouldn't let her speak, he shut her down so quickly and so often that I doubt he was ever sick at all!"  
"You can't say that!"  
"Yes I can, I truly believe that. Jeremy did not, and has never had cancer!"  
"AVI!" Kevin yells. "This is serious!"  
"This is bullshit Kevin, don't cringe! When you yell at me I'm going to fucking swear!"  
Kevin must cringe again because Avi almost laughs, I can hear it in his voice.  
"I cannot believe you're taking his side!"  
"I'm not! I'm just trying to understand why you ever thought it would be okay to sleep with someone in a relationship, even if it was Kirstie and you've been in love with her since day one! I don't care how awful Jeremy was, they were in a relationship, and you don't do that!"  
"That's the thing! They were, not me! It was her decision, and she told you that, she said that!"  
"I'm not going to go and yell at a woman who just lost a child Avi!"  
"Well good for you! But you seem to forget that I lost that child too."  
The yelling stops and I hear footsteps walk off before a door slams, and judging by the distance, it's Avi's.  
I squeeze my eyes shut when tears pool at the corners, then feel the wet trails rolls down my cheeks and into Olaf's soft white fur.  
Kevin and Avi were arguing because of me.  
I couldn't have that. I waited until Kevin finally walked off down the hall too and then I sat bolt upright causing Olaf to spring to action too. Reaching out I pick up Olaf's leash from the coffee table, I click it onto his collar then lead him to the front door.  
It's like he knew, he knew what we were doing and didn't want to leave. Usually he was jumping at the door for a walk, scratching and panting, sometimes he'd dopily run into the door because he was so excited. But today he pulled and resisted, he wasn't leaving easily. I pulled on his leash, managing to open the door and finally pulling him out with the hard wood floor to my advantage. His claws may have scratched up the floor as we left but I might get a chance to deal with that later, but I doubt it.  
I final close the door to the 3D-ragon apartment, and with tears still rolling down my face I pulled Olaf all the way out of the building. He finally stopped resisting when we got outside.  
It was dark out, and colder than I'd expected. I run my free hand down my bare arm in a slight attempt to warm myself, but I can see my breath. It shouldn't be this cold, it's practically summer. With a shake of my head I keep going, with Olaf now leading me, I just kept on walking wherever he wanted to take me: as long as it wasn't in the direction we'd come from.

It must have been a couple of hours that we'd walked for, but as long as my baby wanted to keep going I'd let him, I didn't care where we went, I just wanted to go away. And I wasn't cold anymore so it was okay.  
In the back of my mind I wonder if Avi and Kevin know I'm gone yet, or if they're too mad at each other to leave their rooms to check that I'm still on the couch, asleep. I'd left my phone there so they couldn't contact me anyway. And that was fine, I didn't want them to find me.  
I didn't want them to find me until I was worth being found.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

It was ridiculously cold by the time I got to the place I was looking for. I'd warmed up and cooled down, since it was now past midnight night. Olaf was okay to keep going, but we'd gotten to the door of the woman I wanted to talk to.  
Michelle June Lewis.  
Despite the time, I hoped she opened the door. I knocked and waited then knocked again. I knocked louder and then I finally heard footsteps until the door clicked open.  
"Kirstie?" she asks before her face falls, "Kirstie." She repeats with a stern look on her face as she moves to close the door.  
I shove my foot in the door, wincing as she closes it on my boot. "Please, I need to talk Michelle. I need to ask you about something, please?"  
She opens the door wide once more, "You cheated on my brother."  
"Your brother hurt me, and I think he lied to me too."  
"What would he have to lie about Kirstie? He didn't cheat on you," she casts a glare my way, looking me over, then stopping her gaze on Olaf. "He wants that back," she nods towards my baby.  
"He can't have Olaf, I've set an order, he's mine and if Jeremy tries to take him he will go to jail," I speak surely and watch the look of horror that crosses Michelle's face.  
"What do you want to know Kirstie? And make it quick, it's late and cold and I don't like you."  
"Well I don't like you either," I retort before taking a deep breath to ask my question. "I didn't know Jeremy when he was sick, so-"  
"Hold on… sick?" she raises an eyebrow, "What do you mean sick?"  
"Am I not supposed to say that? Would you rather I say…" I lower my voice "cancer?"  
Her eyes widen and she takes a step back, "What?"  
"What?" I ask confused. "He had Cancer… didn't he? And that's why he can't have children," I rush out as she continues to step backwards, shaking her head.  
"No, no," she covers her mouth with her hand as I notice the tears springing to her eyes.  
"I'm sorry," I follow her in, "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, I figured it was in the past that you might be able to answer a question I have."  
"NO! No questions! I can't believe this. I'm so sorry Kirstie, I need to explain this to you." She rushes behind me to close the door, then stepping in front of me she takes my hands.  
"What's wrong?" I ask, worried.  
"Kirstie, Jeremy… when Jeremy was in college he and his friends took a trip overseas. I don't remember where they went but it's one of those places that do operations, minimal or not, no questions asked," she takes a deep breath, looking down a little, with tears still trailing down her cheeks.  
"What are you trying to say?" I ask with tears springing to my own eyes.  
"Jeremy never had Cancer Kirstie. On that trip he decided he'd never want children and got a vasectomy- Kirstie?!"  
I saw spots as I slowly sunk to the ground with Michelle's small arms trying to keep me up. My head spun and the next thing everything was black.

I don't know how long I was out, but it must have turned into sleep at some point up until I woke up in a white, slightly familiar room.  
I sat bolt upright and looked down at myself before groaning in pain and clutching my head. I wasn't in my own clothes, I was in a hospital gown and my head really hurt. I glance down at my arm, there's a needle in there and so I start to cry, because I don't like needles. Piercings were one thing, needles were another entirely.  
With tear filled eyes, I look around the white room, I hated hospital rooms, but who didn't.  
I hiccupped a few tears back, but completely stopped as I noticed a jacket on the chair next to my bed. The chair was pulled right up and the jacket was right there. I'd worn that jacket on a few occasions and so I reach over to pick it up and pull it on, being careful of the needle while trying not to look at it. Soft and warm as always the jacket hugs me and I sink into it as I lean back on the bed and zip up the leather.  
I pulled the collar up to my nose to smell the familiar scent of the cologne that had made me throw up not even a week ago. I roll over, cuddling further into it and close my eyes only letting a few tears roll as I go back to sleep.

When I wake again it's dark, but is it still dark or dark again? Why is there no clock? I squirm in the bed until I just roll over and come face to face with the leather jackets sleeping owner. I snap my arm out to reach for him when a sharp shooting pain hits my arm and I yell out. Then I black out once more, the last thing I saw was a pair of caring green eyes hovering above me.

It's finally light as my eyes squint open to land on him.  
"Hey," he says softly as he leans forward in his armchair that he'd pulled up beside my bed.  
It takes me a moment to find my words and when I do they come out groggy and unclear, "What happened?"  
"Sorry, what was that?" he leans closer and I try to speak again.  
"What happened?" I ask with a little more clarity.  
"You passed out honey."  
"Then why am I in hospital?" I move to sit up, still wrapped up in the leather jacket, I barely remembered pulling it on. He steps up to lie me back down and tuck some hair behind my ear.  
"Well you hit your head pretty bad Kirst, the doctors wanted to keep you here over night to make sure you were alright. You were hardly awake… but Kirst why were you at Jeremy's sister's house?"  
I frown at him, "I was?"  
"Yeah you were, she called Scott, who called me and Kev… Why'd you leave Kirst?"  
"I don't know."  
"You don't know or you don't remember?" he asks softly, but he was being really mean, why was he asking so many questions, I didn't want to answer, I couldn't think of anything! There must be an answer! But I don't know! Why is he being so mean to me!  
"Stop being mean!"  
His look of concern fades into a frown and confusion as he looks at me and I start to cry. The tears come so easily that I must have been crying earlier, no I know I was crying earlier, but why?  
"Kirst, what did I say honey?" he asks as he reaches out for my hand but I draw back.  
"I want my mom," I tell him through the tears.  
"Kirstie, your mom is in Texas, I haven't even had the chance to call her yet."  
"If she's in Texas then where am I?"

 **A/N: And shit has hit the fan...**


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

I sat on the edge of the hospital bed swinging my legs and staring down at my boots.  
Scott was going to take me back to Texas since someone must have taken from there. No Avi, that's his name, he told me that I live out here now, but I want to go home and be with my mom and Scott, he's my best friend and I know that.  
I've been told I've forgotten a lot, but it doesn't feel that way. I remember everything about my home in Texas and my mom and Scott and Mitch. I wish the others would stop trying to tell me differently. They're all liars.  
I'm still wearing that jacket though, the guy doesn't seem to mind, he's not so bad when he's not lying to me. And even though I don't know him, I remember the jacket, and it's his jacket. It doesn't make sense, that's how I know I've forgotten something, but they are all lying to me.  
I don't live in California and I don't have a boyfriend.

Scott drives us back to Texas; it was recommended that I don't fly with my head injury. I thought it was silly though because my head is fine, but Scott insisted. It's a long drive and about half way through I start feeling sick so we pull over at a roadside diner and gas station.  
"Go in and get us a table Kirst, I'll be in soon, might as well fill up while we're here," he tells me as I walk off into the diner.  
I stop in the doorway and blink a couple of times… what was I doing? We were supposed to be going to Texas! So I walk back out and towards Scott's car.  
Looking across, I don't see Scott's car, his car is dark blue and there is no dark blue car! I start taking deep breaths, before I turn and run across the gravel and dust path to the corner we turned in on. I look left and right, but both ways look the same.  
Tears spring to my eyes as I take off running left, there is a fifty per cent chance I'm right.  
Crying I continue to run down the dirt path until I skid and halt when I fall on my side.  
I feel like a big baby the way I'm crying out, and trying to look at my stinging hands, covered in sand coloured dust, but I couldn't see any gazes through the tears, just colour.  
The sound of running footsteps thump along behind me, getting louder until Scott drops down by my side, out of breath.  
"Kirst jeez," he pants, reaching out to place a hand on my shoulder. I shrug him off and continue to just cry, I can't stop. "Are you wanting to go back and get something to eat?" he tries as he plays with the dirt in front of us. "Or you want to keep going and maybe stop later?"  
"You left me." I say between sobs.  
"I just went to pay for the gas Kirst, I never went anywhere," he says softly.  
"Your car isn't there!" I scream, making him lean away just slightly, then back again.  
"It's right where I left it at the pump," he tells me calmly and I slowly look up at him and shake my head.  
"You have a blue ca-"  
"No, babe I used to have a blue car, I have a silver one now," he slightly chuckles, rubbing my shoulder comfortingly. I let out the smallest laugh at myself.  
"Oh," I give him a small smile as my face starts to heat up. "Can we get something to eat now?" I ask sheepishly.  
Scott nods with a smile, "Of course, come on," he pushes himself up off the ground, dusting himself off before he offers his hands to me and pulls me up when I take them. I too dust myself off as we walk back to the diner. My hands sting a little as I brush them together, then I stare down at them as Scott leads me along by my elbow, like I was a little kid who he had to watch.  
As we reach the door to the diner, Scott turns to me, "You stay by my side now okay, you do not leave, do you hear me?"  
I nod slowly, watching him with a frown, "I'm not two years old Scott."  
He sighs, "I know Kirst, I'm just really worried about you, and I'm just trying my best to make sure you're okay. I really wish you'd let Avi come wit-"  
"I can't take someone to Texas who my mom doesn't know, that'd be rude."  
"Your mom knows him, she likes him, he's always really nice to her when she'd come and visit you. She always liked him way more than Jeremy."  
I raise an eyebrow, "Jeremy?"  
Scott breaks into a smug smile that he tries his best to unsuccessfully contain, "I'm actually glad you don't remember that one."  
"Should I know who he is?" I ask, something inside me felt weird when Scott had brought him up, but I didn't know if it was positive or negative.  
"Don't you worry your gorgeous little head about him alright, you focus on remembering the people who care about you and love you like Avi and Kevin and Olaf, okay?" he leans in to press a brotherly kiss to my forehead, before tightly wrapping me in his strong arms.  
"Who's Olaf?" I ask into his shirt.  
"I know honey, I know," he sighs. He didn't answer my question, but if I was being honest I felt really bad about asking it, my stomach churned, and I wanted to throw up, but why? Was Olaf _that_ important to me? Who is he?


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

As we pull into the familiar driveway, my face lit up and I opened the door as soon as Scott stopped. I went to get put but was pulled back in by my buckled seat belt. I whine in pain as I reach back to unclip it then launch towards the front door, slamming the car door behind me.  
Bursting through the front door I yell out for my mom and break into a huge grin as she steps around the corner from the kitchen.  
"Hi sweetie, how are you?" she asks with a smile that fades slightly as she continues through. I pull her into a tight and warm, not to mention familiar hug.  
"Mom, everything is so scary," I say into our embrace.  
"I know sweetheart," she sighs against the top of my head. "But you're home now. Why don't you go and have a rest on the couch, it was a long drive," she pulls back a little as she speaks, and leads me around another corner and to the lounge room.  
I smile across the familiar pictures and furniture, the flowery wallpaper, nothing had changed. I step closer to the wall to look at the photo collages, me and my mom, and there's Jess, and nana. I turn to give my mom a warm smile then look back to the pictures.  
I come across a framed photo sitting on a cabinet in front of some others, it looked newer. I picked it up and stared at it, I was smiling and I was hugging a tall man, he wasn't Scott, but he was familiar. I look up at my mom confused then down again. I notice that Scott has appeared beside her.  
"Who am I hugging?" I ask without looking up again.  
"Jeremy," mom answers.  
I squeeze my eyes shut. That guy was not the one at the hospital, so why am I hugging him in this picture.  
"I don't think you've been filled on the entire story Angelica," Scott says in a hushed tone to my mom. I wonder if he knows I heard him, but he quickly finds out.  
"I'd like to be filled in on the entire story Scott, why does she get to know and I don't?"  
Scott sighs, "Because we've tried telling you, but you won't listen Kirst. You're adamant about your side. She doesn't know who Avi and Kevin are, but that's not the worst of it."  
"She doesn't know her own fiancé either by the sounds of it," mom says while looking at Scott, only barely sparing a glance at me. I was not engaged, I'm not wearing a ring, I quickly look down at my finger… I'm not wearing a ring! Where's the ring my mom gave me gone? I always wear it on this finger!  
I frantically run past Scott and my mom to drop to my knees beside the bags he'd brought in.  
"What are you looking for?" she asks.  
"The ring you gave me, I'm not wearing it!" My breathing starts to get funny as I start to panic more, I can't find it and I can't breathe properly, it feels like my chest is closing in. I start pulling at the neck of my sweater as I slowly lower myself to the ground taking short choked breaths.  
Scott drops beside me to sit me up, leant against him.  
"Is this what you'd call a panic attack?" he asks. But I don't hear my mother's answer before I black out.

My eyes slowly open as I wake up. I'm tucked in a warm polka dot blanket on the old red couch in the lounge. I pull the blanket up to right under my eyes as I scan over the room then focus in on the voices in the other room.  
"I'm sure it had been going on a while… I know it's not what you want to hear Angelica, but that's the truth, she told me a while ago."  
"I never thought Kirstie would… but never mind, I think Avi is wonderful and when all this sorted its self out- if it sorts it's self out hopefully things will work out between them."  
"I hope so too, for both their sakes. I can't imagine how heartbroken Avi will be if she doesn't remember him. I can do with her forgetting about Jeremy though, I wish I'd get hit in the head so I'd have no memory of him."  
"Are you sure you got the full story on that, Jeremy was always kind… he was a bit of a show off but I never necessarily got the vibe that he was a bad person."  
"Well Avi knows more than I did and he filled me in before we came so that I could give you the full story. Angelica, Kirstie was pregnant, Avi was obvious-"  
"What do you mean was?"  
I lift the blanket up to look at my stomach, there's just no way. How could I have been pregnant and forgotten about him or her. I reach down to place a hand on my stomach as I stare, is that why Avi would be heartbroken? Because I lost his baby?  
I tip my head back as tear spring to my eyes for the millionth time today, I know Scott wouldn't lie to me, no matter how farfetched this all sounded. I was engaged, but not to Avi, but I was pregnant to Avi and apparently I hadn't told my mom that I'd left the first guy and was now with the second guy who is going to be heart broken.  
But Scott said remember him, Avi would be heartbroken if I don't remember him, does he love me that much? If he does I can't do this to him. I don't know him but I don't want to hurt him, and I remember his jacket, how do I remember his jacket but not him?  
My head hurts. I reach up to clutch at the sides, running my hand across my scalp on one side as I screw my eyes shut and groan in frustration. Why does nothing make sense?


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

After a week with my mom I decide that I'm going back to Avi. I'm going to pretend that I remember him so that he won't be heart broken. It should work, I'm sure.  
I'll do little things, like bring up the baby, or about how they all didn't like Jeremy. I'll have to say I'm still sketchy on a few details, but I'll agree with every story he tells and every person he mentions. He won't be able to tell the difference, Scott can't. He might just be so happy that I remember them that it's clouding his better judgement, he is my best friend after all and should know when I'm lying. Scott's downfall is that he is so very trusting, I should know, I am too. That's why I'm putting so much faith into Scott's story because as far as I know it all just a story.  
I'm packing away my things when my mom walks into my bedroom, my old bedroom I should say.  
"How are you doing honey?"  
I shrug as I zip my bag shut and turn to her, "Good I guess, I'm pretty excited to be going back to see Avi," I pull up the best fake smile I can muster, that luckily she falls for.  
"It's good to hear that," she nods slowly. "Have you missed Kevin?"  
I nod, "Of course."  
She raises an eyebrow, "And Olaf?"  
I pull on another smile, "Yeah, they're both great guys."  
"How do you know Olaf sweetie?"  
My face drops, "That's something I don't quite remember," I answer honestly.  
"Mmm, I just hope Avi realises what you're doing so that he can actually help you Kirstin. This isn't fair.  
"Mom, I don't know what you're talking about," I scoff and turn to pick up my bag. I take a deep breath and turn back around to face her. "Me and Scott had better be on our way now."  
"I guess you'd better," she says without taking her eyes off of me.  
I lean in to give her a tight hug, I really don't want to leave, but I have to. I don't want somebody to be heartbroken over me, that's not fair to them… him, Avi.

After the long drive back that was spent mostly in awkward silence, Scott walks me up to Avi and Kevin's apartment. The building is vaguely familiar, but everything is.  
I think Scott might be on to me, he keeps glancing over at me when he talks, and it hasn't been that often, because we've not been talking. But that's why I think he's on to me, wouldn't he just talk to me normally if he truly believed that I remembered… unless this is normal for us now?  
We stop outside the apartment door, Scott has my bag and he knocks too. I gaze over the door, 3D, I like Game of Thrones… why is that connected? I squeeze my eyes shut and run my hand across the side of my face, but I spring to attention when the door opens and I see the guy from the hospital: Avi.  
I pull up the best smile I can manage and watch as his grows. He has a really nice smile, it's genuine and I'm sure I can trust him, so I let him pull me into a tight embrace and I even wrap my arms around him.  
That's when a great big white dog comes running out of the apartment and I have to do my best to stifle my scream. I clutch to Avi, scuttling behind him as the dog tries to get at me. The dog sits when Avi tells him to, he must be Avi's dog. His tail is thumping rapidly and with his tongue hanging out of a widely open mouth, he's happy.  
"Kirstie that's Olaf," Scott tells me in a dead pan tone.  
With my head pressed against Avi's back, I turn to peer just over my hand at the tall blonde, "Olaf?"  
"I thought you said she remembered everything," Avi speaks up.  
"I said she remembers us," he replies with a sigh, he knows and he's going to tell isn't he.  
Scott stretches his hand out with my bag to Avi, "I'd better get going, Mitch will want to know all the details and I miss Wyatt, funny enough," he chuckles weakly, reaching up to scratch the back of his head as Avi takes my bag. "But take care of her," he nods towards me, leaving me with a look as he backs away.  
"Always," Avi replies with a single nod.  
That reply made my stomach melt, it dropped further than ever and I felt like I was going to be sick. This guy cared so much to me and I was lying to him.  
With no idea where the bathroom was, I turned and ran blindly into the apartment, the first thing I spot is the kitchen sink and so I go for it. Hunched over I hear the door close and the dog-Olaf pads over to me as I just lean over the sink. I know I need to be sick, but I'm just not throwing up.  
"Kirst, the bathroom's just down that hall, next to our room." He tells me that like I know where our room is, but no the bathroom, is he trying to confuse me or trick me into revealing the doubts Scott has passed on.  
Standing up straight, I nod as I walk cautiously around the corner to spot the bathroom immediately, on that same side was another room, then directly across another that would be Kevin's, since Avi said ours was next to the bathroom. I need to remember that.  
Walking into the bathroom I close the door behind me, right on Avi. I barely catch a glimpse of him, but I know he's there.  
"I'll just put your bag in the our room," he says, muffled behind the door.  
There it is again, ' _Our Room'_  
I slide down the door with my eyes squeezed shut once more. Without looking at the door I sigh "I wish this room had a lock."


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

"It's April 17th man you're getting old!" Kevin yells at the top of his lungs and I jump up in my spot on the couch where I must have fallen asleep last night.  
"I'm the same age as you, wait still younger," I watch Avi poke Kevin in the chest jokingly, and they're laughing and smiling until they notice me and then it's silent and awkward.  
"Happy Birthday?" I say to Avi with a question in my voice and I know they heard it, I should have just said it normally, like a normal person would, not someone messed up like me!  
"Thank you Kirstie," he nods and gives me a small smile. At least it was his birthday and I hadn't read the situation wrong.  
"Are you guys wanting to come to dinner with my family tonight? We're going to a barbeque restaurant, so it's not exactly fancy," he shrugs, and I know he's asking me more so than Kevin, because he answers with of course and I don't know what to say.  
Do I know Avi's family? How many siblings does he have, have I met them all before, is this including grandparents… if so which ones are there? There are so many questions running through my head and I start to panic when two sets of eyes fall on me.  
"Who's gonna be there?" I almost yell out, good one Kirstie, I should give myself a mental high five because that was the correct question and he doesn't seem taken aback by anything but your tone. A small smile crosses my face as Avi starts to answer.  
"Mom and Dad, Esther, Josh and their partners Darien and Zoe and then both my grandmas. I mean Esther did say though that was all regarding Zoe's mood with the pregnancy and all. Hopefully Josh will come regardless cause I hardly get to see him anymore."  
"Well I'm not surprised Zoe's kind of a bitch anyways," I shrug then my shoots up to my mouth, "Oh damn… sorry," I apologise.  
Avi laughs, "No you're absolutely right, I can't stand her."  
That's another point for me, I don't know where it came from but that theory was correct, I am on a roll.

I walked into the restaurant closely behind Avi with Kevin almost as close behind me, I was nervous.  
Actually nervous is an understatement, I'm trying my best to keep myself from hyperventilating.  
I'm supposed to know some of these people, and I've supposedly met them all but of course I don't remember that, heck I don't even remember the names Avi told me earlier that were going to be there. I have to stop, I can't go in there not knowing anything.  
Avi waves over to what must be his family as we round the last corner, but I grab the sleeve of his blue patterned shirt to stop him moving on. "Avi?" I question as he turns to me.  
"What's wrong?"  
"Can you just give me a refresher, I mean some things are still blurry," I take nervous almost hiccupy breaths as I ask.  
"You want a who's who?" he asks kindly and I nod slowly glancing over at the people who were all watching us, if I had to say something on their reaction, I'd say they were a little surprised to see me, but why? "Of course. Firstly the man with the glasses, that's Mike, my dad, next to him, the beautiful blonde woman, that's my mom. Then that's Grandma, mom's mom, And the brunette with the glasses that's my sister Esther, next to her is her boyfriend Darien. Kev will sit next to him and then you can sit between us okay, that means next to me will be my brother, Josh and his wife Zoe. And then last but not lease Nana, dad's mom. Did you get all that?" he asks and I nod even though I only half got it.  
"Yeah," I add with a smile for good measure, then with a smile back Avi turns and leads Kevin and I over to the table. He receives hugs from most of the people there as they all scramble around to wish him a happy birthday. I even get a hug, from who I think is Esther, she must know me pretty well.  
"How's the head sweetie?" she asks in a whisper, holding me at half arm's length.  
"Better," I say with a small smile. So she knows about me hitting my head, for someone you have told her I must really know her well, at least I'd hope.  
"I'm glad to hear that," she nods before stepping back to sit in her seat with a last smile at me.  
I offer each of the older ladies a smile just to be polite and I look away as I sit when I hear one of them speak up.  
"I don't like your top, too revealing." All small talk stops as eyes fall between me and her.  
"Grandma," Avi says in a slight scold, slightly joking, with a hint of question and confusion as his brow furrows.  
"I'm entitled to my opinion," she states lifting her just slightly as she looked across at me, judging me.  
"Of course, but Kirstie is also entitled to dress how she wants Grandma," Avi says as everyone else stays quiet and I feel my face starting to heat up.  
"I don't like her Avriel, you're much, much too good for her," she sighs leaning back in her chair, "Any girl that dresses like that is only out to corrupt you and steal you from us, we cannot have that Avriel."  
"I never even told you we were dating, you're making assumptions Grandma," Avi starts as I push away from the table and stand up then he turns to me. I back away a few steps and watch as Avi stands up. "No Kirstie, please just take a deep breath," he steps closer to me and I can feel the tears stinging at the corners of my eyes. "Let's just go and take a breather round the corner okay."  
He steps around me and takes my hand to pull me back along the way we'd come and rounding the corner I speak.  
"Why would she say that Avi?" I ask as one tear falls down my cheek.  
"Because she doesn't approve, it's ridiculous, but Kirstie I know," he sighs.  
I squeeze my eyes shut in confusion, "You know, you know what?" I ask.  
"That you don't remember anything, that's why her comment has upset you so much, that's why you asked about my family and then why I gave so much detail with my answer. You have to be honest with me so that I can help you Kirstie."  
I shake my head slowly before looking up at him guiltily, "Avi I don't know any of those people, but it scares me because I'm supposed know them. And why were they surprised to see me if we're together?"  
"Because we haven't been together that long, I haven't actually told them. It was only a couple of days before you got hurt that we made it official, but we've known each other for years… damn it I'm not supposed to tell you things, we're supposed to let you remember," he runs a hand down his face, clearly frustrated.  
"No! Please keep talking Avi I want to know everything, I'm sick of not remembering, because now I know I've forgotten stuff. I want to remember _you_ Avi, because I know inside that I love you, but then I don't know you and that hurts so, so much. I want to know how we fell in love, I want to know why we fell in love… or maybe that's just because you're the sweetest guy on the planet. Please Avi just tell me!" I step forward grabbing his arm. "Please, I'm so sick of remembering halves, like why does your apartment make me think of Game of Thrones, and what is Game of Thrones? But I know I like it. Avi I'm so confused."  
"Kirstie, honey I know you're confused and I'm so sorry for that, but the best way to help you is to let you remember everything on your own. And Kirst that kills me, but if I have to make you fall for me all over again, I will because that is something I'm sure I can do, because I have to I just can't be without you Kirstie."  
"See you are the sweetest guy on the planet, that's why this is so hard Avi."  
"I know honey, I know," he sighs as he pulls me in for a tight hug and I just cry into his chest.  
I felt comfortable.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

Avi held my hand, interlaced with his as he led me back to the table. I avoided looking at his grandma at all costs and just took my seat, deciding it would probably just be best to keep my gaze down unless anyone spoke directly to me.  
Avi keeps a hold of my hand under the table, resting on my knee and every so often he gently squeezes it just as a reminder I think, a reminder that he's there for me.  
I realise that I might just be okay even if I never remembered everything.  
The meals come, we eat and they all chat for a while, but his grandma doesn't say anything else to me, and for that I'm glad.  
Not long before we left Avi's sister swapped seats with Kevin so she could talk to me.  
"You look great Kirstie," she tells me, placing a comforting hand on my arm.  
"Thank you," I say looking down before back up at the brunette with glasses, noticing for the first time what she was wearing thin-cross-strapped cream floral dress that fell just to her knees, she was dressed much nicer than I was. I had the brown top with the sheer neckline and v that his grandmother had deemed inappropriate, with leather pants and my black lace up boots with the small chunky heel that just barely added to my height. She just looked like this goddess, her dress was flowy and she looked so pretty with her hair half tucked behind her ear and her comforting smile… I can see Avi in her.  
"Hey Kirst? You there sweetie?"  
I look up at Esther, when had I looked away? It took me a moment to focus as she started speaking again.  
"So are you wanting to do that next week?"  
"Do what?" I ask blankly.  
"Meet for coffee?"  
I pull a face and shake my head, forgetting all etiquette and kindness as I decline, "No I don't like coffee."  
She frowns and pulled back just slightly, "You love coffee."  
"Oh?" My face falls as I turn and grab Avi's arm, snapping him from his conversation with his brother.  
"What's wrong?" he asks all concerned, giving me his full attention.  
"She says I like coffee, but I don't like coffee, do I?"  
"For as long as I've known you have at least two or three coffees a day Kirst. You picked your apartment by how many Starbucks were in the area and how close they were. Pumpkin Spice is your favourite, every other time of the year you'll go for vanilla, but you'll always try anything new and seasonal."  
I nod slowly as I turn back to face Esther, "Coffee sounds good," I give her a small smile as she watches me confused.  
"I'm thinking that we really need to have a good talk sooner rather than later," she tells me.  
Playing with my hands in my lap I nod, "That might be a good idea."  
"We'll meet on Tuesday, I would say tomorrow because clearly this is important but unfortunately I've got a grandma and me day tomorrow," she gets quieter as she talks, "I promised I'd take her to the mall, and yeah, not exactly looking forward to it after her performance tonight. Hey what if I borrowed your top?" she jokes, and we laugh together.  
"I couldn't do that to you," I tell her with a smile and shake of my head.  
"Come on be honest, we both know I don't have the boobs for it."  
"I'm checking out now," Avi says quickly, I hadn't realised he was still listening.  
"No one cares," Esther laughs and I join in, turning over my shoulder to smile at him. He gives me a returned smile before he turns back to his brother.  
As I turn back to Esther I hear an unfamiliar female voice behind me, "It's not hard for you to move, I did it and I'm pregnant, come on Avi let me sit with the girls."  
"I think Kirstie wants me to stay here," he replies and I can practically hear her roll her eyes.  
"That's ridiculous, I-"  
"Avi, just let Zoe sit there," Esther tells him, which makes him stand up immediately, I notice him give Zoe a slight look that she returns, if I saw it then I wouldn't be surprised if everyone else did too.  
Pushing my chair back a little using my legs, I look between Esther and Zoe and the awkward silence that had come across us.  
"How long have you and Avi been together?" Zoe asks as she rests her hands on her stomach in a way that you always seem to see pregnant women do.  
"Not long," I shrug because that's what Avi told me and I trust him.  
"Yeah but how long?" she raises an eyebrow, "Is not long a week? A month?"  
Taking a deep breath I shake my head, "I don't know."  
Her face screws up in a judging way, "How can you not know?"  
"Zoe leave it," Esther practically hisses as she leans across me.  
Her jaw tightens as she leans back just a little as if she's offended, "I will not leave it, if you know I want to know, I am just as much a part of the family," she argues starting to get louder and louder. I can't help but shrink down in my seat. Esther stays fast in her spot, watching Zoe with a scowl as the rest of Avi's family start to look our way.  
Esther keeps her voice low, "Zoe please stop making a scene."  
As Zoe goes to speak again, Josh places a hand on his wife's arm, "Zoe, sweetheart, please it's Avi's day, let's just take a deep breath. Do you want to go outside for a moment?"  
She shakes her head, "No I just need to go to the bathroom."  
"Alright, yeah, mom will go with you," he looks up at his mom, almost pleading.  
Their mom stands up with an understanding nod, and gestures Zoe towards her with open arms and she leads her off once Zoe meets her on the other side of the table.  
"Sorry about that Avi," Josh sighs, running a hand down his face.  
I hear Avi mumble something along the lines of "Typical." And then watch Josh's face harden in a moment of anger before it softens just as quickly as he keeps his eyes on his brother.  
Why does this drama seem to follow me everywhere? Why can't things just ever be normal?

The drive home was quiet and uneventful, and I actually enjoyed it, it was silent but not awkward, I guess because of the music, Avi's music since it was his birthday, it just meant he was the only one quietly singing along. But that was totally okay.  
We get back to Avi and Kevin's apartment and I'm a lot calmer, I almost feel completely chilled out as I step through the door and into the somewhat familiar place. The dog… Olaf jumps at me again, and so I try to hug him, but it's me making it awkward, not him. He soon turns away from me and starts jumping at Avi as he sits down on the couch.  
"He likes you," I say with a smile.  
"Yeah he seems to," he laughs as the big white dog jumps up to lie on his lap, "He still doesn't-" he's cut off when Olaf's head swings up and he turns out of the way.  
"He still doesn't lick you?" I laugh.  
"Did you just remember that?" Kevin asks from behind me, I could hear the smile in his voice, and I watch the one grow on Avi's face.  
"I guess so… is it right?" I ask cautiously.  
"Yeah that's, that's absolutely right," Avi nods quickly with one of his arms still around the completely unaware fur baby.  
I jump back to my feet with a massive grin on my face, "I remembered something!" I cheered, fist pumping, it was something ridiculously small, but it was something that no one else had told me, and I almost couldn't believe it.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

As I sit down on the bed and am about to pull up the covers when I stop and my gaze shifts back to the door I'd entered through. I jump up and walk back out the door, down the hall and out into the dark lounge. With my hands on my hips, I stare down the blanket covered human sized lump on the couch.  
"Avi," I say across the room, with no movement from him, "Avi," I say a little louder, and still nothing, he must be asleep. I walk over and step between the coffee table and the couch, staring down at the sleeping man.  
Crouching down, I lean over to shake him gently, he doesn't wake and so I shake him harder, my face falls into a frown when he still doesn't wake. Who sleeps this heavy? I jump back into the coffee table, he's not dead is he? I cautiously lean closer to listen for breathing and when I hear it I sigh in relief.  
I stand up with my mind made up about what I should do. It's still Avi's birthday, it hasn't hit midnight yet, and so he shouldn't be sleeping on the couch, not that he should be anyway because it's his bed that he's kindly let me use. I pull the pillow out from under his head, sure it wouldn't wake him up and I was right. Placing the pillow on the ground I then walk back to the end of the couch tucking the blanket under him as I go then I grabs his legs and pull him off the couch.  
Somehow I knew he still wouldn't wake up, and I was still right. His head landed neatly on the pillow, and he made a small noise when his butt hit the ground but the eyes stayed closed and he settled immediately.  
I put his legs down and then step over him to make sure his blanket is tucked under him everywhere so he doesn't get floor burn, it's wooden but skin doesn't slide all that well and if his shirt came up then that would hurt him and I don't want that.  
When I sure he would be safe I step back to his feet and pick up his legs then I start to walk backwards, pulling him along with me. I get quicker then slow down for the corner swinging him around almost expertly, then I speed up down the hall, losing the pillow from under his head, but it's okay we're almost there.  
I have to stop and re-evaluate when I reach the doorway of his room, the corner is tight so I can't swing him like the last one, and if I just pull I might hit his head on the way in. So I have to step over him to get to his head and shoulders after I angle his legs into the door. Then pushing on his shoulders he slides into the room easily. I stand up with a proud, accomplished smile and close the door, I'm a little out breath though, it would have been so much easier if I could just pick him up, he's not like the biggest guy ever I might have been able to. I guess it's too late now.  
Wait… I have to actually get him on the bed, I hadn't thought this far ahead.  
I bend down beside him to untuck his arms and grab his upper arms to pull him up, but he just start tipping. Without a second thought I straddle him and try pulling his arms up again, success. I drape his arms over my shoulders, then carefully sliding myself closer I pull his torso closer by wrapping my arms fully around him. I end up having to manoeuvre so his head is over my shoulder and one of his arms falls off.  
Trying to stand proves difficult, and impossible, it felt like I was trying to lift a dead body or something, hey how about a sleeping man that's practically dead to the world.  
Damn I should have done more strength workouts with Kevin when I had the chances and less running, running is useless and good for nothing, I need strength and I need it now!  
I let Avi back down, carefully of course, then unwrapping him entirely I pull his legs up and stand his feet on the ground with both parts of his legs pressed together, all for leverage on the next pull, I had not forgotten physics… I never did enjoy it, but I remember enough that I should be able to lift something heavier than me if I do it right.  
With Avi set, I pull him up by his arms again and lean him against me once more. Still crouching I can tell he's up slightly off the ground, but it's not time for celebrating just yet.  
As I start to stand him up with me my foot skids on the blanket that had been left on the ground and we both fall back, well I fall back and he falls on me. It completely takes the wind out of me and so I just lay there looking up at the ceiling. My energy is completely zapped.  
I guess the floor isn't such a bad place to sleep.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

Avi doesn't question me about why he woke up in a different place than where he fell asleep. But I make a note to mention to him later on that he can sleep in his bed from now on and I'll change up where I sleep depending on my mood. Whether it is on the couch, the floor in Avi's room, in his bed or in his arms, that last one is just starting to sound better and better.  
"I think Scott mentioned about wanting to have a catch up with you today Kirst, you up for that?" Avi asks me.  
I nod as I take a bite of my toast, "Sure."  
"Maybe you could try taking Olaf for a walk too?" Kevin suggests.  
I nod again, once more answering "Sure. Is Mitch going to be there too?" I add.  
They both shrug, "Why don't you ask Scott?" Avi suggests.  
"Just message him," Kevin suggests.  
"I'll do that once I finish breakfast," I give them both warm smiles. I was going to be seeing Scott and Mitch today, well hopefully Mitch too, but I'm also going to see Esther tomorrow, that's just Monday and Tuesday, I hope the week doesn't get much busier.  
"We have to take you to the doctor tonight though, for a check-up," Kevin tells me.  
"Oh I almost forgot about that," Avi says with his eyes going a little wide.  
"I don't need any injections right?" I ask quickly and they both turn back to face me.  
"Since when have you been afraid of needles?" Kevin asks with a slight laugh before his smile drops and he just turns back to his breakfast with an "Oh right."  
"Kirst," Avi starts, "I never got around to asking, but do you remember what you did with my jacket that you took with you to Texas?"  
I have to pause for a moment with my piece of toast half in mouth, because I remember all the details of that but one, I don't remember what I did with the jacket. I shove the piece of toast in my mouth then dash off the chair and down the hall to Avi's room. The bag was in here, had I unpacked it? Nope, there it is in the corner.  
I drop to my knees in front of it as I hear Avi calling out behind me, "I was just wondering Kirst, it's no major."  
"The weather is getting warmer after all," I hear Kevin add on.  
But I have to find his jacket, he said it's not important though… damn I'm seeing spots… oops I won't be seeing Scott today. It's almost in slow motion as everything sort of fades out to a complete black.

 _"Maybe it's when she stresses about something she just passes out."  
"Could be, I mean it makes sense, but it was just a jacket, unless something else was on her mind."  
"That wouldn't surprise me Avi, she must have_ a million things on her mind at the moment."  
I blink slowly and nod slower, croaking out a "Yeah, jacket. Stupid jacket can't find it."  
"See, I know her Kevin, shame," I feel one arm release me as Avi must point at him or something before it's wrapped back around me, pulling me into his chest for a warm hug. "I'm glad you're okay Kirst," he tells me in a whisper next to my ear as he presses a kiss to the side on my head. I'm pretty sure that's the first kiss he's given me since I forgot about him, is it weird that I wish it was on my lips?  
"Lucky guess," Kevin comments under his breath, but clearly loud enough for us to hear.  
I have to smile slightly as their small banter, they were always like that and I'm glad to hear it, makes me feel normal. "Where's Olaf?" I ask.  
"He's just in the kitchen, eating, hopefully _just_ eating. Kirst are you still up for meeting Scott or do you want us to call him for you?"  
"Scott? Why Scott?" I furrow my brow as I look up at them.  
"You're supposed to be hanging out with him today before we take you to the doctors this afternoon," Kevin kindly explains, so patiently because he must have told me already.  
"Oh… do I have to go to the doctors?"  
"Kirst, I think the fact that you didn't remember you were meeting Scott after talked about it not ten minutes ago that you need to go more than ever," Avi has a slight laugh in his voice and yet I know that he's still very serious.  
With a sigh I nod, "I still want to see him, but I want to see Mitch too… do you thi-"  
"You were going to text Scott and ask him about Mitch," Avi tells me.  
"Can one of you do it before I just forget?" I ask and frown as it comes out with absolutely no tone in my voice.  
"I'll do it," Kevin says before he steps out of the room with his phone in hand that he'd pulled from his pocket.  
"I want you to come too," I tell Avi quietly, "In case I forget anything else."  
"You won't forget anything else Kirst," he tells me as he tucks some hair behind my ears.  
"Do you not want to come with me? Are you not friends with Scott and Mitch? Or do you just not want to be with me?" I start getting louder as I pull myself away from him and go to try and stand up. I realise just how dizzy I am when taking one step almost sends me over, but luckily Avi pulls me back against him. I just hang there, letting him hold me up. "Why does everything have to be so difficult for me Avi?"  
"I don't know Kirst," he sighs as he pulls me along backwards to sit on the bed. He keeps his arm around my waist as we sit. "Do you want to ask me something? It might make you feel better if you know something, might make you feel more in control. I know it's not what we're supposed to do, but if it makes you feel better then it's worth it."  
I don't even have to think about what I want to ask when he gives me this channel of opportunity. "What happened to the baby?"  
I watch him closely as he stiffens and immediately looks away from me. "You remember him?" he asks quietly.  
I shake my head, "No, I overheard Scott talking to my mom about… him, he was a him?"  
"He was a him," Avi says as he looks back at me. "It's a pretty big answer Kirst, are you sure you want to hear it?"  
"Yeah I'm sure, I want to know these things, and what if this memory was the one that brought everything back to me? That's what we want isn't it?" I ask, having to move my head to keep eye contact with Avi as he looks away again, this time down.  
"Scott said Mitch will be there if you want him too," Kevin says as he walks back into the room, "Oh am I interrupting something?"  
"Kind of," Avi says, looking up at him. "Can you just give us a few minutes Kev?"  
"Yeah sure," he nods as he backs out of the room as quickly as he had entered.  
With a sigh, Avi brings his gaze back to me, "That is exactly what we want," he nods once and takes a deep breath as he starts. "You were pregnant, and I was the father, but there was a complication. You were engaged to someone else, but we knew he couldn't have been the father because he can't have children, he had cancer and so-"  
I don't want to stop him, but I do, I have to correct him, "He didn't have cancer."  
Avi frowns, "Yeah he did, or well so he says, he was always so half-assed about it but to say anyt-"  
"He didn't have cancer," I say getting a little louder to cut Avi off, "He got a vasectomy because he's an idiot."  
"Kirstie what? When did you find that out?"


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

They're talking about me, the four of them. I'm sat on the couch with Olaf tucked under my staring at the TV they'd put on, but I'm not watching it. I can't concentrate on it, not because I want to listen to the boys, but because I just can't focus on the screen or what's going on in the show it's so confusing, why can the dog talk?  
And so that's how I know that they're talking about me, I can't hear them though, they're talking too quietly. Out of the corner of my eye I notice them constantly looking over me, they're trying to be subtle but they're failing.  
They're probably discussing everything they know about me that I don't remember, and that's not fair because I should be a part of that conversation. I know what Avi said the doctor said, but it's not fair and I don't care if I sound like a child because IT'S NOT FAIR!  
I deice to fully look over at them, watch them and catch them off guard when they turn to look at me again, which I know they will. And it's not moments later they do and their eyes, all of their eyes widen as they catch me. They all stare at me and I stare back.  
"What's up Kirst?" Avi asks cautiously.  
"I want to know what you're all talking about. Are you talking about me?"  
"Oh honey, no," Mitch tells me.  
"Don't lie to me!" I say standing up. Avi stands up to, quickly taking a step towards me, I watch as Scott half stands up, assessing the situation.  
"Okay, yeah we're sorry Kirst, that was a lie," Avi tells me.  
"See, I knew it!" I scream, all four of them flinch, but it also makes Scott stand completely up. "Do any of you know what it's like to forget the last four years of your life? Huh well do you? No you don't, I bet you also don't know what it's like to be told by people that you're supposed to know tell you that they can't tell you anything because the doctor told them not to!" I start getting louder and louder and I can hear Olaf whimpering behind me.  
"Kirstie," Scott tries but I don't let him speak.  
"I finally think I'm going to get some answers and then I say something that screws that all up! Just tell me what happened?! Tell me everything! JUST FUCKING TELL ME!"  
"Where do you want us to start?" Avi asks almost so quietly that I don't hear him.  
"You know exactly where I want you to start," I tell him with a hiss.  
Nodding, Avi slowly walks towards me as he speaks, "We called him Squiggle, we called him that because of something goofy I said about the size of him at the time. You know as much as I was the father, but you were engaged to someone else, and he couldn't have children… whatever that reason is," he only adds that because he knows that's the reason we'll at ends right now. "Me and you, we had an argument, I still don't know what upset you so much that day, but you told me that you were going to be with him and left."  
"Was that when we were all at the beach?" Mitch asks, interrupting Avi, who nods in response. I have close my eyes for a moment because it sounded familiar, an argument at the beach, but I don't know what it was about, and because Avi didn't know either, that could from now on be a blank.  
"We were at the beach that day, and you left, you left with my child to go back and be with him." There was something about the way that Avi spoke that made my eyes open and my body take an involuntary step backwards. The voice was one of a protective _father_. In that moment I knew what had happened to our baby, to Squiggle, it was the way he spoke, it was the way he never said _his_ name, Jeremy's name.  
As Avi goes to continue I stop him with a question, "How pregnant was I?"  
"Not quite two months," he says as he looks down at the ground.  
"And Jeremy pushed me to the ground and I lost him," I say with a hitch in my breath. "I remembered."  
The four men in my apartment set eyes on me as I walk towards my room to collect my phone and a pair of shoes. I walk back out into the lounge with the four of them still staring.  
"I think I need to go to the doctors now."  
I pick up Avi's car keys from the table beside the door and throw them to him before opening the front door. I stop to look at the number and letter combination. "3D, there are 3 Dragons in Game of Thrones, our favourite TV show," I tell Avi and watch as he can't help but let a smile spread across his face.  
"We'll be back soon," Avi says as he closes the door on the other three, well four if you count my fur baby who starts to bark up a storm the second we're out of view.  
Avi and I walk hand in hand down the two flights of stairs, right into the tenants carpark and to his car. As we reach the hood, I stop him and dragging him down by the collar I press our lips together, kissing him deeply.  
"I love you," he says in a deep rumbling voice as we pull away from each other.  
With a smile I tell him, "I remember that too."


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

Avi knelt up on the back car seat as he did his belt back up. I leant up on my elbow and reached under me with my other hand and find the culprit.  
"I had a buckle in my back!" I tell him.  
He turns back to face me with a cheeky smile, "Guess you didn't move it fast enough." He drops down on the seat and I immediately shuffle up beside him. "Do you want to actually go into the doctor's office yet?"  
I shrug, playing with the buttons on his shirt where my hand was rested on his chest. "I'm in no hurry, I mean we know what he's gonna say. It's good that I'm starting to remember everything. But that we still need to be careful, although we should be, I mean my head hit the car door twice just before."  
Avi nods, "Yeah, it did and then I gave you my beanie for protection, which I'd like back now," he lifts the arm that was around my shoulders to pull his beanie of my head. We'd put his jacket there too, it was just sitting on the ground behind the passenger's seat and I picked it up to use as the buffer between me and the car door, safety first.  
"Does my hair look bad? I don't want beanie hair," I smile up at him.  
"What's wrong with beanie hair?" he smiles back.  
"It's your signature look, I don't want to steal it," I joke, which thankfully he laughs at, but he always laughs at my jokes doesn't he? Yeah, yeah he does.  
Avi pulls his beanie back on, taking just a moment to adjust it, he even checks in the drivers mirror to make sure he'd done it just right. He wears a beanie all the time, should he just _know_ if he's got it right by now?  
"We should probably still go in, it's near your actual appointment time anyways," he tells me as he checks his phone quickly.  
I sit up straight with a sigh, "Fine, let's go then," I nod and he opens the door for us, getting out first then offering me a hand to help me out too. He closes the door behind me and locks the car as we make our way across the carpark to the building.

We sit in the waiting room, I'm holding his hand because I'm kind of nervous, and I don't know why.  
Avi's playing a game on his phone and I just can't for the life of me figure out what it is he's doing. I'm wearing my glasses, so it's not that I can't see, I just don't understand it. I lean against his shoulder, with just my eyes peeking over; I have to keep screwing them shut though because it hurts my head when I try to figure out the game. It's obviously nothing difficult, he's flying through it, it's just cakes for gods sake! I can get as far as three cakes pop when they meet, but then little symbol things show up and icing squirts, and there's burnt cakes that pop, but he can't match them together… I just don't get it! And the eggs, damn it they're blowing my mind!  
"Kirstin, Kirstin Maldonado."  
I'd never jumped up for a doctor's appointment so quickly in my life.  
"Do you want me to come with you?" Avi asks.  
I hesitate, because I do want him there, but then maybe I should try being independent? And then there's there might be a cake game incident with something else, and I've got a head ache. I need him there with me.  
I nod and giving him a small smile I reach back to take his hand and pull him along with me.  
We follow the doctor into his office, I take the seat closest to the doctor and Avi sits down beside me.  
"Well now how are you today Kirstin?" Nick asks, he's Nick, he's my regular doctor, I guess it makes sense with them trying to surround me with the familiar.  
"For the millionth time, you can call me Kirstie," I smile at him, "And I'm doing a lot better thank you. I'm remembering things, like a lot of things, well I think it's a lot, I'm not entirely sure I haven't really been asks any specifics since the sort of surge moment," I ramble on.  
"Surge moment?" Nick raises an eyebrow. But I didn't know how to explain it better so I turned to Avi, he'd know.  
Avi turns from me to face Nick as he starts talking, "This afternoon we told her somethings, even though told us not to, and I'm sorry about that, but it make her remember some things."  
"Right after you spoke to her?"  
"Yeah, she actually sort of finished my sentence."  
"I just saw how upset he was getting when he was talking, and then I just knew why he was upset, so I said it before he could."  
"And you're both sure it wasn't something you'd said to her earlier, maybe you said something and hadn't realised that she'd over heard. Kirstie did you over hear anything?" Nick turns back to me.  
"I overheard a lot of things, but what I said that wasn't one of them, I'm sure of it."  
Nick leans back with a smile, "This is really good then, I'm happy for you Kirstie. I'll also apologise for telling you not to say anything to her, because clearly it's worked. Sometimes we get things wrong, but it was just a precaution because in a lot of cases the patient can get very confused when they're told things, so you're very lucky that it worked."  
"I do have a really bad headache though Nick," I tell him almost cautiously.  
"That's not uncommon either, I can prescribe you something for that."  
"It didn't happen when I remembered things, it happened when I was watching Avi play a game just before. My head just started pounding when I was trying to figure out what he was doing, I just couldn't follow."  
I look over at Avi to see him frowning in thought. "I didn't think it was a difficult game, that's why I was playing it, I don't like to think too much about games."  
"I wonder if maybe the knock affected more than just your memories. Have you tried writing? Sometimes that can be very difficult after a head injury."  
I shake my head, "I actually haven't, which is weird because I usually write all the time."  
Nick nods as he must be considering something, "Is there anything else that made you confused, or made your head hurt like this?"  
"I was watching a TV show today, it wasn't so bad, but I wasn't concentrating as hard. I think that was mostly because I wasn't able to follow what was happening."  
"I thought you were watching Disney Channel?" Avi raises an eyebrow.  
"I was… and the dog was talking, I couldn't get past it!" I stress just slightly, prompting Avi to take my hand. He rubs circles with his thumb to calm me down as Nick starts to talk again.  
"This all sounds like things that are very common with a head injury. All you have to do is ask questions when you get confused, no matter how tedious. I would recommend that of you watch TV, stick to simple shows with order, like cooking shows for example. Try out some writing later on, a recipe would be best because of the clear order side of things. Just keep things simple and I'll give you a prescription for something for your headaches, because they will unfortunately be common."  
"Oh joy," I say sarcastically with a matching smile.  
Nick chuckles as he types the prescription up on his computer. "You can take this to the man across the hall and he'll fill it for you." He prints out a sheet and hands it to me, I then hand it straight to Avi.  
"Thank you Nick," I say as we all stand up.  
"No problem at all Kirstie," he smiles back at us as we walk to the door and Avi holds it open for me and we walk out, off to get my prescription filled.


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

"I write like a four year old!" I scream in frustration as I throw the pad of paper across the room, the pen is next, and my hands shoot up to my mouth as it hits Avi in the back when he bends down to pick up the paper. "Sorry," I sigh, running my hand through my hair as I flop back down on the sofa.  
He sighs, "It's okay, you're frustrated. But you just have to keep trying; it'll come back to you in no time." He hands me the pen and paper before walks back into the kitchen where he'd been making us lunch.  
Clipping the pen onto the pad of paper I reach out to put them on the coffee table and pick up the remote before I lean back. Flicking on the TV it's already on the cooking channel since I'd been watching last night. It was a baking show, so I sit back and relax, baking I know well, baking is calming and simple and it has method, and you always know what's coming next.  
Before long Avi walks back over to me with two plates, each with a pile of yellowy goop on it. I practically jump up in my seat grinning like the Cheshire as Avi holds my plate out to me.  
"Mac and Cheese for the M'lady," he half bows as I take it with a laugh.  
"You make the best mac and cheese," I tell him before I tuck in. "See amazing!" I groan with my mouthful. He just laughs before he starts eating himself.  
"I'm telling you now this is quite possibly the only vegetarian dish I'll ever make," he jokes.  
"And isn't it funny how this vegetarian dish has no actual vegetables in it?" I raise an eyebrow as I turn back to face him.  
"That's exactly why I will in fact make it for you, nothing nasty and green in here," he gives me a big cheesy grin.  
"Green isn't nasty," I laugh, shaking my head at him, I take another bite of my mac and cheese before I freeze, and slowly place the plate down. "Avi, what time was I supposed to be meeting Esther?"  
Avi leans forward, "Kirst, you met with her last week, you met at the Starbucks down the street, remember?" he raises an eyebrow.  
I shake my head, "No, no it's today."  
"No, today is Thursday, you met with her last week on Tuesday," he explains.  
"Are you sure?" I turn to face him, completely confused, my head was spinning.  
"100 per cent Kirst, I would have reminded you, you know that," he tells me calmly.  
I nod, leaning back in my seat, "Yeah, you would have," I nod.  
"Just enjoy your mac and cheese before it gets cold."

I'm sitting on the couch watching the cooking channel when Avi walks back into the apartment, he'd been out to get groceries.  
"I have a new list for you!" I call out."  
"Anything that you maybe should have texted me to get while I was out?" he asks as he puts the bags up on the bench.  
"I don't think it's anything that you won't have gotten, I just couldn't remember what I'd written on the last list," I tell him without taking my eyes off the TV.  
"Alright, well I'm still making the chicken thing tonight right?"  
I sit up straight so that I can see him, "Which one?"  
"What do you mean which one? I thought there was only one?" he walks fully into the room.  
"How many recipes have you been hording?"  
I reach beside me to pick up a pile of papers, all written on, from the pad I'd been throwing this morning.  
"Okay, I'm glad your writing has improved greatly since this morning, but do you have to write out so many?"  
"Well some of them are baking, so when you let me in the kitchen I'd like to try them."  
"Oh yeah, well that won't be until you remember to turn the oven off," he runs his hand across the top of his hair, which he had tied up for a change.  
"That was once-"  
He holds up two fingers, "Twice."  
"That was twice, I'm getting better at remembering things. Maybe if you didn't just leave me to do it by myself?"  
I watch his eyebrows shoot up, "Sorry, what? I'm right here, all the time, if you want me to help, tell me the time it's supposed to come out of the oven and I'll remind you so that I don't end up having to clean out the exploded muffins again!"  
"I would have done it," I mumble.  
"You started twice and then got side-tracked, twice, it was just easier if I did it," he sighs.  
"Are you mad at me?"  
He shakes his head, "No, Kirst, I'm just a little frustrated, sorry, I shouldn't be, I know how hard this all is for you. You know what, I'm just gonna put this away," he gestures back at the groceries, "And then I'm gonna take a nap, is that okay?"  
"Yeah, Avi of course, I'll be fine, and I promise I won't try cooking anything," I give a warm smile as he turns back to go into the kitchen.  
As soon as he's gone I jump up off the couch and run down the hall into our room. I pull off my jacket and throw it in the corner; I then undo my jeans and drop them to the ground. I run at the bed and dive onto it like a starfish in just my tank top and panties. I cuddle up to the pillow as I wait for him to come in.  
After a while I hear footsteps in the hall. I hear him laugh as he enters the room, and I turn on the pillow, smiling at him from under my arm. "What's up?"  
"Nothing much, just coming for a bit of a sleep," he gives me a smile back.  
"I don't want to sleep though," I tell him with a smirk.  
"Well it's a good thing it's only a nap then," he shrugs. "And you don't even have to," he flops down on the bed beside me, kicking his shoes off as he does. "But I am surely."  
I watch him close his eyes before I roll closer to him, wrapping my arms around him and leaning my chin on his chest. I look up at him in the same moment that he looks down at me.  
"It'd only be fair if you were in your underwear too Avi," I pout, watching him break into a smile.  
"If I take my clothes off, I know exactly where this is going to go, and I honestly need a nap Kirst."  
"At least let me take your belt off, it must be o uncomfortable wearing it on the bed."  
"Don't you even dare!" he says quickly, his hand shooting down to hold his belt. "You won't go for the belt, I know you Kirstie, I know your trickery, let me sleep evil temptress," he laughs. I can't help but laugh along as I drop my head on his chest to let him sleep, because he's boring like that.


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: This is the last chapter of actual story before the epilogue, hope you enjoy :)**

 **Chapter 33:**

I opened the door to the apartment, I had a couple of shopping bags on my arms so it was kind of difficult, but I managed. Esther followed closely behind me, we'd both gotten SOS texts from Avi so we'd come back as quick as we could, so much for a girls day.  
And when I enter the apartment I can see why it was such an emergency for him. Sat on the couch, looking completely at home was Avi's sister-in-law, Zoe. And at the kitchen bench, on the bar stool was Avi with his head leant against the bench, he was facing away from us, but I knew it was him.  
"Hi Zoe," Esther says with a strained smile.  
She sits up, staring between me and Esther, "I heard you two were out, how come I wasn't invited? Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I don't like to do things. I mean I won't be able to do anything once the baby's born!"  
"We went out because… Kirstie needed someone to talk to, and she doesn't know you as well as she knows me," Esther shrugs.  
"Fine, but I don't like being left out all the time, you can't be picking favourites Esther, besides me and Josh have been married longer than Avriel's been dating Kristie."  
"Kirstie," me and Esther speak together.  
"And stop calling me Avriel!" he complains from the bench, "You don't call Josh Joshua do you? No I didn't think so," he keeps his head down.  
"I've actually known Kirstie longer than I've known you though Zoe, but I'm not picking favourites," as she finishes talking and turns back to face me, giving me a wink as she walks past to go over to Avi.  
With a smile I step closer to Zoe, "Can I sit?"  
She shrugs and slides over a bit.  
"How are you?"  
"Don't start acting all sweet to try and make me like you."  
"Why not? If we liked each other then wouldn't it just be so much easier?"  
Again she shrugs.  
"How far along are you?"  
"Five months," she smiles a little, placing a hand on her stomach.  
"Do you know what you're having?"  
She shakes her head, "No, Josh wants the surprise, I want a girl though," she nods quickly, looking down at her stomach with a big grin.  
 _I'd wanted a boy._ Suddenly it hit me and I had to get away, I just needed to be by myself. I jumped up from the sofa as tears sprung to my eyes then I ran off down the hall, hearing Avi as I went.  
"What did you do now Zoe?!"  
I slumped down at the bottom of the bed, wrapping my arms around myself as I just let the tears fall.  
The three of them appeared in the door way, I immediately turned and screamed at them, "GO AWAY!" I watch through tears filled eyes as Zoe shoves Avi forward then Esther pulls the door shut behind him.  
He stares at me with wide eyes, "I'm sorry."  
"You don't need to apologise," I hiccup my words and start wiping at my eyes with the sleeves of my jumper. Avi walks over and kneels down beside me. "All the hurt just came back to me Avi, everything just hurts, I want my baby Avi!" I cry into his shoulder as he pulls me into his arms.  
"I know you do Kirst," he sighs, as I feel him rest his chin on my head.  
"You want him too right?"  
"Of course," he tells me soothingly. "We would have loved him so much Kirst. The thing is, I know it's horrible what happened, and I would have never ever wished for it, but you can look at it in a positive way too. Because Kirst we would have been good parents, but with the opportunity to plan in our future, one day we are going to be great parents, I promise." He kisses the top of my head.  
I know he's right, it's sad and it's horrible and tragic, but were we really ready to be parents? Like Avi said, we would have loved him, and I know we would have done our best for him, but we are going to be able to do so much better for them in the future. Why does Avi have to be so smart?  
"I want at least four," I tell him.  
"At least four what?"  
"Babies, once we're married."  
"We don't have to be married to have them, I mean we weren't going to be with Squiggle." I blink back a couple more tears as he says Squiggle, his unofficial name.  
"We don't have to be, but we will be, a proper family of Kaplan's, Kirstie Kaplan has a nice ring to it don't you think?" I move my head to look up at him with a small smile.  
"I think it's sounds perfect," he returns my small smile, then leans in to give me a quick peck on the lips.  
"Can I ask you something?"  
He nods, "Yeah, anything."  
"Why is Zoe here?"  
His smile falls, "Right, well Josh was coming over, and that was cool, but he brought her, so not so cool. Then he got called into work for something, I don't know what, but he had to leave her here."  
"And that's why you sent us the SOS?"  
"Yeah, I could not be alone with her, it wasn't quite 20 minutes of just her and I, but I was ready to kill her, the only thing stopping me, my niece or nephew in her belly."  
I let out a small laugh, "Well isn't she lucky then isn't she?"  
"Very," he says with a laugh of his own.  
"Was all she doing calling you Avriel?"  
He looks down with a slight smirk before back up, and gives me a nod. "But you know I don't like it, I feel like I'm in trouble or with my grandma, which generally means I'm in trouble. Plus, it was the amount of times she said it, Avriel can you do this, Avriel can you get me this, blah, blah, blah," he puts on a high voice that I just can't help but laugh at.  
"Okay, shut up now, I get it," I chuckle, lightly whacking him on the arm.  
"So, you want to go back out there and rescue my poor sister from the she-demon?"  
"She's not that bad," I give him a look before shaking my head. "I might stay in here, but could you maybe send Olaf in? I want to cuddle and well you have to go back out there so I need my fur-baby," I explain to him.  
"Well believe me when I say, I'd much stay here and cuddle with you, but yeah, I'll get told on so I have to go. But I can do that, I think he's in Kev's room."  
As Avi gets up and leaves the room, I watch him and I can't help but wonder how I got so lucky?  
Soon enough my bundle of white fluff comes bounding into the room and leaps straight at me. Lying on the floor with him, I wrap my arms around him and nuzzle into his fur, I close my eyes with a sigh and a smile on my face.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34: Epilogue:** ****

"HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!"  
I open my eyes just slightly with a big grin on my face, having to roll over when I get a bony little knee in my side.  
"Hey Poppy watch out for Mommy's tummy," I feel the small weight lifted off me and roll back over to see her in the air and then settled in my husband's arms who was kneeling on the bed. Ezra and Liam bound around from behind him, jumping on the bed together before Liam drops down beside me and snuggles into my side. I wrap an arm around him, kissing the top of his dark little head of hair.  
"Why I gotsta wat fo mommy's tum?" Poppy asks Avi as she starts to pull at his beard the way she did every time he picked her up these days.  
"The baby Poppy!" Ezra shouts with a roll of his eyes before he drops down beside his dad.  
"Babies," Avi corrects him.  
I laugh at the varied expressions on the kids' faces. Liam broke into a grin before started crying, he was a very happy, and very emotional little boy. His older brother Ezra, sighed, leaning back on his hands.  
"Aww man, now I gotta be even bigger! I'ma has to grow a beard!" Ezra says as he face palms himself.  
But Poppy's reaction was a special one, she'd inherited her father's super frown ability, and well her face was just plain sour at the news.  
"You don't want a couple of sisters Pop?" Avi asks her, tickling her side to try and get her frown to disappear.  
She turns away from him with the frown stuck in place. "I da baby."  
"You're almost three," Ezra says holding out three fingers where she could see them. "I'm this many!" he holds up six fingers before he drops down beside his brother, reaching over him to show me his fingers.  
"That's right hun," I smile over at him. Ezra's six, Liam's four and Poppy's three, the twins were due in July, they were girls and we'd picked out their names already, Ashleigh and Angelina. With them, our not so little family will be complete with two boys and three girls, one more than I'd initially said I'd wanted. I'd always said four children at least, I was going to have four children, but you can't help twins. Not that minded, four had always just been the minimum, for Avi five was now officially the limit.  
"Are we go to see Grammah today?" Liam quietly asks me.  
"Of course," I tell him with a smile, "Daddy wants to see his mommy."  
"And we can kype with Nana?" he asks getting more excited.  
"Most definitely," I hadn't talked to my mom in too long, it's something that I need to find more time for these days.  
"You'll get to see your cousins too, at Grandma's Lucas, Will, Chris and Vanessa and Rowan too," Avi explains to excite the other two a little more, Ezra idolises his older cousins, Lucas and Will, Chris was just a little younger than him, the same age as Rowan, Vanessa was older, but she was a girl so he didn't want to know. Vanessa loved playing around my baby girl.  
If you need a who's who, Lucas, Will and Chris are Kaplan's and Vanessa and Rowan are Koop's. They had a Maldonado cousin back in Texas too, Paige. I'd freaked out when I'd found out Jess was pregnant, and Jake's left her now, but mom's helping her out a lot so it's all okay.  
I'm pulled back to the present when Ezra starts screaming about my presents and then he and Liam dive off the bed, Poppy starts squealing and trying to get out of Avi's arms. He lets her down and then has to follow the screaming that starts between the two boys.  
"I wanna give it!"  
"No me!"  
"MINE!"  
"DAAAAAAD!"  
Then the barking starts and I run a hand down my face. Welcome to any given morning in the Kaplan household. I pull myself up into a sitting position as Olaf runs into the room, leaping gracefully onto the bed. He sits beside me, allowing me just to cuddle him.  
"You done with their yelling are you buddy?"  
"Hey no! Ezra put him down! Now!" I hear Avi boom and then there's silence, whenever their dad yelled they stopped, it was a god damn power of his. "I will give her the present, you can give her your cards you made."  
Three sets of footsteps echo in the hallway and I see two of the three of them enter the room, Poppy was too short to be seen from the bed, but her oldest brother lifts her awkwardly onto the bed. Ezra jumps up as best he could then helps Liam up, holding his hand to pull him up.  
Olaf perks up as the three children join us on the bed. Poppy pretty much lies on him, her arms and legs hanging off each side of our large white dog, she flicks her card towards me. I just catch the pink and yellow card before it flies off the bed, but not before it leaves a thick trail of glitter behind.  
"Mommy's a rainbow!" Liam calls out with a big grin plastered on his face.  
"Yep… Mommy's a rainbow," I says slowly before I open up the glitter coated card. And impossibly, more glitter fell out. "This is so great Poppy, you want to tell me what it says?" I ask, holding the card closer so she could see it. The writing was Avi's so I could read it easily, but I wanted to hear her say it.  
"I lub momma more den mac-a-eese!" she giggles.  
"It doesn't say you love me more than mac and cheese you silly goose," I laugh with the boys. "It says you love me most in the whole wide world doesn't it?" I ask her and she nods, hiding shyly in Olaf's fur.  
"Mines is better Mommy, I wrote it myself, see," Ezra holds out his purple card for me. "And there's no stupid glitter!"  
"Momma likes da gliti," Poppy frowns at her oldest brother.  
"I like all the cards, glitter or not," I tell them, taking Ezra's card, and smiling as I read the front and then the inside, it took me a moment but I finally made out what it said, ' _my mommy is the most beautiful mommy and she is the nicest mommy and I love her more than any other mommy.'_ I had to blink back a few tears. "I love it honey," I tell him, pulling him in for a hug.  
Shyly, Liam moves forward on his knees into hand me his card, he then drops down to hide between me and Olaf.  
 _'I love my mommy very, very much, she is wonderful'_ it was written by Avi with an attempted scribble below it of which I could make out a few letters.  
It was all just so sweet, these three beautiful cards made by my three gorgeous children. I didn't think the day could get any better until Avi walked back in with my present.  
"This is for your birthday too, but he was ready early and right in time for mother's day," Avi tells me with a big grin, walking over to me and the kids with a small brown and white husky puppy.  
"Momma's new bubay doggy!" Poppy squeals, hugging closer to Olaf.  
"Oh my gosh!" I coo, holding my arms out for the puppy, "Does he have a name, or?"  
"You get to pick," Avi tells me with a smile.  
"Well Pascal, duh, my second favourite Disney sidekick!" I grin, getting the fur baby in my arms, and hugging him close.  
"Is he Olaf's bro? Like me and Liam?" Ezra asks, leaning over to gingerly pet the small dog.  
"He sure is," I say, snuggling him up to my face.  
"We hab big famlily now!" Poppy tells us.  
"We sure do," Avi says as he gets back on the bed with us, Liam hopping over Olaf to cuddle with his dad.  
A big family indeed, I have a husband, two sons, a daughter and two more on the way, then there's my two fur children, and you know what, I couldn't be happier.

 **The End.**

 **A/N: ANd there we have it, the whole story with a happy ending, there won't be a sequel to this story because I have another story in the works with a Kaplan family, so a sequel to this one would be redundant and repetitive. I hope you enjoyed this story, I loved writing it, I'm sorry for the rollar coaster but yeah it all worked out in the end, YAAAAY!**

 **Hannah :)**


End file.
